Do you know the saying “Happy Wife, Happy Life”? These words may seem funny, especially for those hearing them for the first time. But the truth is, this simple statement is completely true. You need to keep your wife happy to have a consistently happy married life. Wife is life.
As a husband, I had to endure years of fighting with my wife because my mindset was to dominate the relationship. I am the man of the household. I should be the one served every time. Only my decisions and my voice matter.
Yes, my wife allowed me to do that. But for years, I was also not consistently happy. There are times when our arguments lasted for days. I thought this was the norm for marriage. I had always believed that this is the only way that two people could live as a couple.
I have a friend named Tom who seemed to have a happy marriage. I thought that his life was just the same as mine. I supposed that he led his wife the same way I did. But what I recognized is that they were actually happy. I have been to their home and we have been in outings together as couples. I observed that they are truly a happy couple.
And so I asked him what their secret was. Tom answered that he has a mentality of Wife is Life. What is the wife is life mentality?
Wife is Life
I was now wondering what those words meant, so Tom continued. He said that to be constantly happy in your marriage, you must focus on your wife. You must put her first in everything that you do. When you have a habit of thinking this way, your lives as a married couple will be better.
I was sort of hesitant at first because I did not want to give up my authority over the relationship. But then, Tom said that it was deeper than just letting go of some of my control in our married life. It is more of a mindset of thinking about your wife first and foremost in all aspects of your marriage.
A study at Rutgers University showed that marital happiness is closely associated with the happiness of the wife. In the survey, 394 couples were asked about their status in their marriage. The majority of partners say that the marriage is indeed in a more blissful state if the wife is happy. Additionally, the happiness of the husband depends on how happy the wife is.
The wife will give more support to the husband if she is happy. The husband can reap the benefits of being wed to a happy wife because her heart is completely filled up. Some wives also tend to keep silent when something is wrong. If the wife doesn’t speak, then the husband is also affected.
Filling the Love Tank
It reminds me of a book that I once read. It is entitled “The Five Love Languages” by Garry Chapman. Chapman writes that we prioritize any of the five love languages, namely, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. If husbands want to keep their wives, they have to wholly fill their love tanks every day.
Not Surrendering Anything Important
For those husbands who think that they are surrendering part of their manhood in exchange for a happy marriage, that is utterly and completely false thinking. We do not give up our place in the marriage. We are only refocusing on what matters most in our life: our wives.
Yes, we are giving up a lot of things like control over our wives, thinking about ourselves first before them, and not considering their opinions important. This attitude is not healthy for a marriage. You should give more value to your wife to have a happy marriage.
Wife is Life: How to be Consistent in Marriage With These Tips
1.Fill Up the Love Tanks
You should keep her love tank filled up every day. You can both take the test to determine the ranking of your love languages.Since you are just refocusing your attention to your wife, you can concentrate on the highest first.
For example, if her highest love language is words of affirmation, you can give her love by saying words of encouragement and recognition. You can tell her that you love her at random times of the day. You can say to her how much you liked her cooked dishes. You can also acknowledge her looks.
If your wife’s highest love language is physical touch, it does not mean that she always desires sex. Sometimes, a gentle pat on the back feels good to her. A massage will also add to her love tank. Even a stroke of her hair will give hundreds of units to her tank.
When you deliberately fill up her love tank, you will notice that she will also fill up your own love tank. Since you both took the test, she will also be well aware of your needs as a husband. Since she is full of love every day, she can freely express her love for you by doing the things that will make you feel appreciated and valued.
2.Consider Her Opinions to Make Your Decisions
As a man of the house, you should ultimately decide for the family—but that should not stop you from considering the opinion of your wife. When you decided to spend the rest of your life with this person, you agreed to be one with her.
Being a singular entity in marriage means considering her thoughts and her ideas in marriage. Her words matter. You should be constantly open in communication with your wife. Sometimes, her notions will be better than yours. Man up and accept her suggestions if they are appropriate in the situation.
3.Always Make Time for a Date
Setting aside one night a week for dates may be easy for some. But for those who have one or more kids, putting one night off to spend time together can be very difficult. A babysitter needs to be hired. Food must be prepared. And you have to ensure that everything in the house will be safe for the kids.
But you have to fight for these dates. All week long, you both may be too busy with work and the children. You should set at least one night when you can talk about your relationship and your aspirations in life.
Date nights should allow you to talk to each other. A movie night is nice as long as you have a lot more time to talk at the end of the movie. Dinner would be nice. You can also bring her to her favorite places in town.
4.Take Care of Yourself
Who would have known that taking care of yourself would make her happy, right? Do you remember the times when you were preparing to meet with her prior to marriage? You may have been well-built, had an attractive haircut and dressed nicely. Now, look at yourself today. Do you still take care of yourself or have you let yourself go?
Love indeed goes beyond the looks. But you should keep in mind that you should still please your wife with the way you look. Taking care of yourself also assures her that you will keep yourself healthy both inside and out. A strong and fit husband is a dependable husband.
5.Maintain a Romantic Environment in the Home
Even if there are no special occasions coming up, you should keep a romantic environment in your home. You can bring her flowers or chocolates. If you are alone in the house, you can dim the lights and have a candlelit dinner. Keep the whole house clean so that you are both relaxed and comfortable in your home.
Create a Wife is Life attitude wherever you go. You should be consistent in appreciating her and making her feel special. It doesn’t always have to be a big and exuberant affair. Little things can go a long way. Nurture your relationship by focusing on your wife. What matters is that you keep her joyful every moment of every day. Exert every effort to make her happy to make your marriage truly satisfying and happy as well.