11 Types of Husbands: Which One Are You?

types of husbands

Believe it or not, there are different types of husbands, from the kind and caring ones to the aggressive ones to the indifferent ones; which of the 11 types of husbands did you marry or are you?

There are 11 main types of husbands: the flirty lover, the dominant man, the manipulative narcissist, the emotionally detached/apologetic husband, the clown, the talker, the active dreamer, the family man, the career man, the “ideal or perfect” husband and a mix of two or more of these. 

There are several different types of husbands out there, each with his own personality and character traits. Some are better than others, and sometimes you do not truly get to see all sides of the man you marry until you’ve married him or until he gets “too comfortable” around his wife. Read on to see which one you are or which on you married.

The Flirty Lover

Sure, when you two were younger and before you said “I do,” the flirtiness might not have been an issue. It might have always been directed towards the woman he was committed too, and if it wasn’t, it was often fixed with a simple, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t even realize I was flirting with her!” or “I’m a just a nice guy, sometimes that can come off as flirting.” However, once you tie the knot, you should really be careful not to flirt with any other woman–you should have no need too, as your wife is who you married and promised yourself too.

Often, the flirty type lacks self confidence within himself and within the relationship. This might cause him to feel a need to “escape” any problems the two of you might face and seek comfort in the arms or company of another woman. There is a high potential of affair with the flirty lover type because of this, and this really can make or break the relationship.

Other times, the man feels that more than one relationship is okay. If this is the case, this should be discussed before marriage as some women are okay with it. If not, then the man either needs to leave, or accept that the woman he loves is monogamous. If this is not discussed prior to marriage, or even engagement, the potential for the husband to go out and flirt and find a new lover and keep her a secret.

The flirty lover often mistakes love for lust, and these marriages often end in divorce. Before you choose to go through with divorce, though, try marriage counseling and see if this issue is able to be resolved.

The Dominant Man

This husband often uses fear as a tactic to try and control his wife. He is very traditional in the sense of the man being the “master” and will try to take control of everything, leaving his wife very little freedom to be herself. These men are often verbally and mentally abusive, with the occasion of becoming physically abusive if he doesn’t get his way exactly how he wants it.

These types of husbands are pushy for the things they want, whether it be sex or a cleaner house. They are very demanding and often will use his wife’s depleting lack of self confidence to take further control over her. If you are in this relationship, or you are this husband, seek help through marriage counseling and do not let any form of abuse get taken too far. If you are unsafe, call a helpline.

The Manipulative Narcissist

This husband often starts out amazing, making his wife believe he is the best thing to have ever happened to her. Once the couple begins to settle in and get more and more comfortable around one another, he will start to show his true colors. As full of selfishness as these husbands are, they lack self confidence and constantly seek approval, even if it isn’t from his wife.

Arguments are prevalent in these relationships and are usually started by the husband. He will often blame his wife for his actions, saying she made him do whatever it was and if she could do this or that better, he wouldn’t have done what he did. These men often cheat and blame the wife for the reasons why he cheated.

These husbands will plead forgiveness with lust disguised as love and false promises that he won’t hurt her again. This causes his wife to believe he really does love her and just needs the reassurance.

Here is a list of other traits this type of husband might have:

  • Over possessiveness: he gets angry if you talk to other men or if your phone rings. He won’t let you have your own life if he isn’t involved.
  • Critical: he criticizes his wife’s every move, putting fear in her.
  • Moody: one minute he’s the most amazing, loving man you’ve ever met and the next you want to leave, but you can’t because he might threaten you or himself.
  • Uses fear as a tactic to control his wife: similar to the dominant husband, the manipulative narcissist uses fear to control his wife.
  • Accusatory: he blames his wife for his actions and accuses her of doing things she isn’t.

If you are in this relationship, seek help right away.

The Emotionally Vacant/Apologetic Man

This type of husband is there physically, but not emotionally. He seems to not care about how his wife, or anyone, feels. Often times, he uses apologies to “fix” problems within the relationship, taking blame immediately to avoid conflict. This can be very stressful for both spouses.

If you are in this relationship, seek help with a marriage counselor to see what you can do to fix this. Sometimes, if the husband feels he is not getting enough attention he may withdraw, or if he is suffering from depression. Some men feel it isn’t “manly” to express how he feels, and if he is suffering from a mental illness, might not want his wife to think he is weak. Be understand and tell him it’s okay, and help him get help.

The Clown

This is the fun husband, who is always joking around and the life of the party, even if there really is no party. He is light hearted and funny. He doesn’t take things too seriously, or seriously at all. This is a good quality to have, however, it can potentially be bad as well.

If your husband never takes anything seriously, you might need to sit down and talk with him about it. Tell him you love that he is a goofball, but there are times that require seriousness. If he is the type to make rude or inappropriate jokes, talk to him about that too and explain to him how it makes you feel. If he really loves you, he will understand and tone it down. A little reminder here and there won’t hurt either.

The Talker

This husband will get you to love him with his words. We all know someone who talks a big game, but doesn’t actually live up to the words that they say, and that’s exactly what this type of husband does.

He builds up big dreams with his girlfriend, lives up to the home and marriage, and then stops acting on everything he’s said. He will continue to talk himself up to his friends and family, and even to you, but his actions are nonexistent, or he gives up if it gets to tough to reach them.

Try talking to your husband if this is the way he is. Tell him you want to do more to reach the goals and dreams the two of you talked about before getting married and right after you said your vows. He might just need a little push to get going, and few more pushes to keep going, but as long as you two are by each other’s side, he might be able to act on all he talks about.

The Active Dreamer

The exact opposite of the talker, the active dreamer husband will discuss dreams and goals he has personally, ones his wife has and ones they have together and then do something to achieve them. He doesn’t give up, and if things do get tough, he figures out how to work through it right alongside his wife. This husband is persistent and will do whatever it takes to reach his goals.

This husband won’t let his wife give up on her dreams either, and will be there supporting her and helping her as much as he can until she reaches her goals. He won’t give up on his kids and their goals either. He dreams with his entire family, and no matter how small the dream is, he wants it to become real.

The Family Man

Every woman who has ever wanted kids has dreamed of this man. He’s the husband that takes time to spend with his kids to bond with them, even in infancy. He’s the husband that provides everything he possibly can to his children, and his wife. Love, support, money, protection, shelter, food, you name it–he will do is best to provide it. He protects his family with everything he is and would do anything to keep them safe and sound.

This type of husband is caring and thoughtful. He knows when to discipline, when to laugh and when to comfort. He goes to all the sporting events and always makes sure to embarrass his kids on their first dates. This type of husband is the man every woman with children want; someone who will love her children as much as she does.

The Career Man

This husband provides for his family the only way he knows how: with money. And money requires working. This type of husband puts his career before his family, thinking that it the only way he is able to provide for them is by working to earn enough to give his wife and kids everything they could ever want–not thinking that they only want a husband and a father that is there for them.

This husband is often absent, spending more hours in the office than in the home. This puts extra stress on his wife, leaving her to raise the children and care for the home on her own. His wife may start to feel abandoned or second best, and while she often appreciates everything she has because of her husband, all she really wants is for him to come home and spend quality time with her and the family.

If this is the relationship you have, sit down and talk with your husband. He might not even know what you, as his wife, are feeling because he is away so often. Let him know you and the kids miss him and want him home more often, that you don’t feel he loves you.

The Ideal or Perfect Man

This husband is rare; he’s more a fantasy than he is real. He is everything every woman has ever dreamed of marrying: he’s charming, kind, smart, funny. He’s a family man and an active dreamer. He provides everything from love to money and protects his wife and children with every bit of his being.

This husband, really should be in the Mixed Man section, for he is a mix of all the good qualities a woman could ask for, as well as not having any of the negative qualities. However, everyone has their flaws, and the “ideal” or “perfect” man dreamed up by women everywhere, typically does not. Often, a woman’s ideal or perfect man has flaws that she is able to look past and even learn to love. This type of husband is a true gem, so if you find him, cherish him with all you can.

The Mixed Man

This type of husband is a mix of two or more of all of the above. Some combinations are better than others. Avoid combinations that include: the dominant man, the manipulative narcissist and the flirty lover, as those are the three hardest to work through. Aim for the positive combinations, as those will lead to a long, healthy and happy marriage.

Related Questions

What are the different types of wives? Like types of husbands, there are many types of wives. This includes: the pretty but negligent wife, the jealous/over possessive wife, the obedient wife, the perfect companion and the perfect mother. Also like the types of husbands, some are better than others, so before you get married, make sure she is truly the right one for you.

What is the best type of man to marry? This is really a matter of opinion, however, marrying a man that isn’t manipulative or abusive in any way. Marry a man that will love you and his children equally and provide the best he can. If he has a good sense of humor, consider it a great bonus. Marry a man that won’t give up or get angry when times get tough, because marriage is full of good and hard times.

Amber Harrison

Amber Harrison

Inside the mind and life of a first time stay at home mom–recipes, DIY and adventures!

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