We, as husbands, can be out of line sometimes. Consciously or unconsciously, we do things that hurt our marriages. We go on with our lives, not knowing that we are destroying the relationship we have with our wives.
You should look out for these things that can eventually ruin a marriage:
20 Things Husbands Do to Destroy Marriage
When the husband does not listen to his wife.
A husband should always lend an ear to his wife. He has to get her opinion in every matter that concerns the family. Even if he is the one that is making decisions, he still needs to pay attention to his wife’s side regarding particular issues and concerns. A husband who does not listen to what his wife has to say can ultimately destroy the marriage.
When the husband does not care about the insecurities of his wife.
At the onset of marriage, the husband must be sensitive to the wife in terms of her insecurities. He should care about her thoughts and her disposition. He must protect her and not make her feel ashamed of herself. Not knowing the insecurities of his wife can lead to too much hate and a lack of understanding in the relationship.
When the husband does not know his wife’s strengths and weaknesses.
To keep the marriage going, you must maximize each other’s strengths and take care of each other’s weaknesses. If the husband only focuses on the flaws of his wife, they will not succeed in maintaining a harmonious marriage.
When the husband does not know the love language of his wife.
Every person has a way of expressing his love for his spouse. This is known as his love language. It maybe physical touch, quality time, sending gifts, words of affirmation or service. The husband must utterly know his wife’s love language in order to sustain the love that she feels.
If she likes physical touch, the husband must exert effort in giving her pats in the back, massages, and other physical showings of affection. If it’s quality time, he must spend time with her. If it’s sending gifts, he must give her occasional presents.
Word of affirmation means giving praise and words of affection to her. When her love language is service, it means that she loves acts of service to her like cooking for her, taking her to work and picking her up, among other things.
When he does not sweat it out with the small things.
It is not always the grand gestures that make a husband lovable. It is actually the daily small things that he does that make the marriage worthwhile. A simple text of how he loves his wife is enough. A surprise dinner at home is also good. The husband who cannot do the small gestures will not do the bigger ones in the future.
When he is always angry.
The husband should control his temper, especially during harsh situations. Some people can be angry and bark at other people who are not related to the problem. Some husbands can even hurt their wives if they cannot contain their anger. As much as possible, be rational rather than angry. It will hurt the marriage if the husband is always angry.
When he does not share his dreams and goals in life.
Married life is built on the dreams and goals of both the husband and wife. These make the relationship exciting and fun at the same time. You can celebrate your achievements and console each other on failures. If you do not share your personal aspirations in life, you will not have shared lives.
When he does not see himself as responsible and accountable for what happens to the family.
Marriage is linked to responsibility. If you are able to decide for yourself that you are getting married, then you should also know the obligations behind the relationship. A husband who does not take responsibility for his decisions for the family will soon cause his spouse to lose faith in him.
When he feels that he is not ready for a long-term commitment.
Being married is not any reckless decision that you make. If the husband has not prepared himself for the long haul, then the relationship will also suffer. He will be idle, will easily be rattled during problems, and will easily give up.
When he gets out of the house every time there is an argument.
It is one thing to be angry, but it is another to avoid confrontation at all. The husband and the wife should be fixing issues, not leaving them behind. If they cannot talk about mending relationships, then all will pile up until you cannot stand to be next to each other.
When he always wants to fix his wife.
You do not want to always be critical of your spouse. She is imperfect, after all—just like you. Yes, you have to be honest with what you feel and see in your wife. But if all that comes out of your mouth are criticisms of your wife, then her self-esteem and self-worth will continuously degrade.
When he doesn’t feel the need to say sorry.
It hard to say sorry for anyone who had made a mistake against someone. But as a husband, he should accept the fact that he is wrong, admit to his faults and promise to make things better. Saying sorry means being vulnerable with your wife, yet being strong for the relationship.
When the husband does not communicate with his wife at all.
Communication is the key to maintaining the joy in a relationship. Both the wife and the husband should talk to each other every day, no matter how light the conversation is. A silent house with no interaction between the couple will lead to losing your love and care for one another.
When he is neglecting his wife.
The husband should regularly ask for updates about his wife’s life. How is she at work? What is she feeling at that very moment? Is she feeling fine? If you completely neglect your wife and focus on your own well-being, then it will destroy your marriage.
When he sees his partner as just a trophy wife.
If you are going into married life, you are actually deciding to be with another person for the rest of your life. You have to be open to talking, sharing your successes and failures, deciding together on particular difficulties, and being intimate with one another. Do not just put your wife on display for everyone to see.
When the husband does not help inside the house.
Do you know that most fights inside the house are petty quarrels on who will do the chores? The husband and the wife should be helping each other out in the work load, instead of putting the blame of forgetting to do the job in your home. These small fights could lead to bigger disagreements in the long run.
When he does not date his wife.
Even in a financial strain, the husband should still date his wife. Dating does not always mean going to fancy restaurants and spending thousands of dollars for an exciting activity. Dating means setting some alone time with your wife, no matter where you are or what you do. It keeps you closer to each other intimately, emotionally and physically.
When he wants to spend more time with his friends than with his wife.
The husband and the wife should not separate each other from their friends once they are married. It is unhealthy and it will lead to separation. But as much as individuality is concerned, you should still give more time to your spouse than your friends. If you find yourself prioritizing your friends more than your wife, then you need to reevaluate your significances in life before it is too late.
When he is pessimistic.
A pessimistic husband can greatly influence his wife. No one wants to be with someone who always sees bad things happening in his life. Being pessimistic means diminishing your accomplishments and looking out for the worst that could occur. Being negative at all times can drag down your relationship.
When he loves to flirt with other women.
If you think that constantly flirting with other women is fine, then you should put your wife in your shoes. Do you think that it is okay for your wife to be flirting with other men? An unguarded heart and emotions can lead to extramarital affairs. You should not flirt with any woman except your wife.
Husbands should always keep our guards and defenses up when it comes to marriage. We need to protect our wives and make sure that they are living in the safety of our love and care.
We should be alert of the incorrect things we do, and we should be sensitive to the feelings and emotions of our wives. It takes two to keep the marriage from falling apart. As the husband, do your part in maintaining the marriage.