In the advent of failed marriages, divorce, and annulment, it’s tough to say that love and commitment are enough for a marriage to work. With so many trials along the way, how can you fulfil a lifelong promise to the most important person?
Marriage requires two people to work hard. It takes a lot of effort for this level of commitment to last. Your living under one roof and seeing each other everyday can be tiring and overwhelming at times, but you know you can’t just give up.
Some people say that the key to a long-lasting marriage is patience, that even in the worst days, a spouse should just suck it up and stick to the promise. Although patience is an important element, I say that the most important key is gratitude.
Why You Should be Thankful
Saying thanks to your spouse can be both easy and hard. There are moments when you feel like you are very lucky to be married to your husband—and there are moments when you feel like he could’ve been better.
However, an important rule to make any marriage work is to learn how to express gratitude, consistently and constantly. No matter what happens, even during the lowest of lows, you should be grateful for your other half.
It’s not that you have to say thank you for every little gesture that your spouse does. Just being able to tell him once in a while that you’re happy about something he did is enough. A sense of appreciation is a big deal, especially for husbands.
Men love being able to provide—this is their nature. Even in a modern society where women make their own careers, being the one who puts food on the table is something that men still aspire to. When wives make them feel that they are doing something right, they are more able to work hard and stay inspired.
Your husband can be egotistical and hard-headed most of the time, but there sure is something about him that makes you think, “Marrying him was the best decision I’ve ever made.” Why not bank on that thought for a while?
Why don’t you, wife, spend some time expressing deeper gratitude to your husband for a change? A little gesture here and there could go a long way. How about a letter?
Sending text messages or private Facebook messages are a lot easier, but doing it the old-school way is another thing. A handwritten letter feels more real and sincere. Writing one could be just the therapy your seemingly monotonous relationship needs.
5 Steps to Write a Thankful for My Husband Letter
1.Reflect on your current marriage situation.
Before preparing your pen and paper, sit down and reflect about your husband and your marriage in general.
How have things been in your home lately? Has there been any challenge that led to a huge fight between you and your husband? How do you usually settle and patch things up when you disagree?
Revisit the past few days, weeks and months. Review these questions in your mind and if possible, list down all the answers.
Doing this will help you identify where you are at in your marriage. If you are newlyweds, perhaps you are still in your honeymoon phase. If you have been married for more than ten years and have a couple of kids, perhaps you may have lost that “loving feeling.”
Determine the state of your relationship and draw out inspiration from there. This will also help you set the mood for the actual love letter writing session.
2.Review and list the roles your husband performs in your household.
The men of the household are usually the ones who work and are in and out of the house everyday. But as mentioned, we are now living in a modern world where women have become career-driven too.
What roles does your husband play in your family? Is he the main provider? Or is he the one who takes care of the kids and the house while you work?
It doesn’t matter what hats he wears, but what matters is that you recognize all of them. If he works and goes home tired everyday, how do you interact with him? Otherwise, how do you acknowledge him when you get home?
Expressing gratitude starts from acknowledging a person’s position in your life in general. Look back on the things your husband does for you—both big and little things.
3.Make your intentions clear.
What is the main purpose of your writing a thank you letter? Is it to apologize for a mistake you did or a sweet move to kiss and make up? Or are you just doing it randomly as a surprise to spice things up?
Expressing your intentions makes your letter sound more heartfelt and sincere. It gives the impression that you’re doing this out of love and passion. And even when it’s just a short note, it will look like you’ve thought hard about what to say.
4.Mention all the things about him that you are grateful for.
Remember that this is a thank you letter. Make your husband feel that he is the best man, best partner, and best friend you’ve ever had because you feel that he is all of those things.
Tell him all that you are thankful for—not only the big things, but also the small ones. Thank him for a dish that he cooked, for hugging you on your worst day, for taking a turn in changing your baby’s diaper.
Mention as many things as you can. You can even write them in bullet form to show him that there really are a lot.
You can use your creativity too. Since this should be the heftiest part of your letter, you can add anecdotes—quick stories about moments when you found him to be your life hero.
Say something like, “Remember when I had a flat tire and was crying in the middle of the street and you came out of nowhere to rescue me?” Stories like this will boost your man’s ego and will make him go, “Aww. That feels good!”
You don’t need to be too serious, either. Insert a few humorous statements—perhaps some inside jokes that only you two share? This will let him flash a little smile or even a hearty laugh. You can make it sexy, too (if you know what I mean).
5.Explain the reasons why you are thankful for him.
Elaborate on your reasons for saying thank you. Make your husband feel that your gratitude didn’t come out of nowhere, but rather from your own feelings.
It can be as simple as saying, “I am thankful for your cooking because the dishes you prepare are my stress reliever.” You’ll find yourself opening up to him more and you’ll find him so surprised that he was able to make you feel that way.
No matter where you are in your marriage right now, staying true to your commitment signifies how much love you and your husband have for one another.
Like I said, it’s difficult to keep the connection alive when you see and talk to each other everyday. At some point, you will somehow lose all the excitement you once had.
However, know that love is a choice. Being with your husband and staying married to him every single day is a choice. So, if you want your marriage to stay happy, choose to stay happy.
Writing a letter is one thing, but treating him well is another. Make him feel that he is important and that his feelings are always valid. Don’t do this just once in a while, but rather as many times as your lifetime allows you to.
This is your time to finally say how much you love your husband, so make the most out of it. Your letter doesn’t have to be too long, but it has to be special and heartfelt. Try to win his heart by saying the most unexpected things.
This might be the biggest surprise he’ll ever receive, and reading it can be one of the most memorable moments of his life. Surely, this is not just a gift, but a treasure that he will remember forever.