Submission often has a negative connotation when it comes to the relationship between a husband and a wife. To tell you the truth, it is actually the opposite. To be submissive to a loving spouse is one of the greatest roles that a wife can fill for her husband.
Doing this unfailingly will take time. But if you know your purpose and made a decision to submit to your husband, everything else will follow. Read on to find out our practical tips:
Find your reason.
If you do not have a reason to do the things you do, you will get burned out and go back to your old ways. But if you have made a concrete goal for yourself and your marriage, you will exert the best effort every day to stick to your principles.
Some wives developed various reasons on why they need to be submissive to their husbands. Dr. Heavenly Kimes, a dentist interviewed on Married to Medicine, said that a man’s role in the marriage is to be in charge. She lets him lead her because that is his natural responsibility as a husband.
Some want to show their respect to their husband by being submissive to him. One of the most important needs for men is to be given respect. Thus, some wives choose to submit to their husbands so that they can fully display their respect to their husbands as the heads of their respective families.
Being a submissive wife proves a wife’s love for her husband, according to some spouses. If they are given a choice, they would abide by their husband’s decisions.
Define what submission is not.
You should also determine a delineation of what submission is. You must set a clear-cut definition of true submission to your husband. John Piper, a well-known teacher and writer, lists the meanings of what submission is not.
You do not have to agree on everything to show your submission. You are still allowed to object and protest. You can suggest possible alternatives if you think that you have found other solutions to your problems.
It does not mean that you are not allowed to think at all. Submissive wives are not robots. They can still make up their mind and decide on their own for things concerning themselves.
You are not to put walls between you and your husband in order not to influence him. You should not restrict yourself from approaching your husband and telling him about what you want to do and not do. You can freely be who you are in your marriage.
How to be a Consistently Submissive Wife
1.Treat him as the head of the family.
This does not only pertain to the provisions for the family. Almost everyone will think that leading a family only describes earning and making sufficient amounts of money to sustain their needs. But being the head means so much more.
The head or leader of the family must take responsibility for all important matters of the family. As a husband, he makes himself accountable for ensuring that you are well taken care of. He checks on your physical, emotional, and personal growth needs.
You can start doing this by letting him take the lead. Start on the small things, like making him choose the restaurant that you will eat at or types of clothes for your kids.
When it comes to your personal path, like your career or concerns about your immediate family member, you should also inquire about them to your husband. Let him be in charge. And you have to respect his every decision.
2.Always listen to what your husband has to say.
To be a submissive wife does not mean that you have to let him decide on all things before you move or choose a particular path. You still have the freedom to go where you want to be and do what you want to do.
However, you have to inform him every time just to let him know of your whereabouts and what you are currently busy with. And make sure that he receives your messages or gets your calls so that he is well aware of your situation.
Do you know that hearing is different from listening? Hearing is just taking in what your husband is saying. Listening includes not just receiving his words, but also thinking about them and putting them in your heart.
When your husband says something that concerns you or your kids, you really have to listen. Since you are letting him be accountable for your welfare, he has a say on significant matters. You can still disagree with his decisions and talk to him about it. But if he puts his foot down, you have to submit to his authority.
3.Check on him before you buy anything.
As wives, we are often delegated by our husbands to do the buying for our household. If you have the gift to financially manage your family, then, by all means, do so. But being a submissive wife requires you to consult your husband first before spending your family’s money.
Some husbands just entrust the money to their wives. Some prefer to be texted or called first. You have to respect his way of managing his family so that you can manage your finances well.
If he is the one who is better at handling the money, how can you buy the things that you want for yourself? You can just directly ask him yourself. You can tell him about the stuff that you want to buy. If he approves of it, then you can purchase it.
What if the wife is the one earning while the husband stays at home with the kids? You still have to let him decide on what to do with the money. This can be difficult for some wives. They think that since they are the one sweating it out in the office, they should have a say with the money.
But the thing is, you are a family now. You decided to have him as your husband and the father of your kids. As a submissive wife, you should give him authority over you and your finances.
4.Do not shout at him.
Everything can be resolved in a calm way. Shouting is not allowed to be done by the husband nor the wife. Shouting only makes matters worse. Instead of listening, you put your defenses up and guard your emotions.
Yelling at your husband will not solve your problems. You should focus on fixing your issues rather than thinking of ways to hurt your spouse. As a loving and submissive wife, you should respect him. Listen first before you speak. Contain your emotions and think rationally.
5.Take time to really understand your husband.
Do you know that a lot of couples go through their lives together without knowing who their spouse really is? They do not know what their deepest dreams are. Some wives do not know how their husbands react to particular situations. Some even have no idea what their husbands’ basic likes are!
To be a submissive wife means taking time to assess your husband. Know what triggers his anger and what makes him laugh like a kid. Identify his pet peeves and moods.
Ask yourself these questions. When is it okay to approach him regarding financial problems? Does he like being texted at work regarding expenses at home or does he want you to prepare them the night before?
You can take a step back and see how your husband wants to manage your family. And then plan from there. By understanding your husband more, you are respecting him as the family’s head. You are also co-laboring with him and helping him every step of the way.
6.Take care of yourself.
When you decide to be a submissive wife, you do not let yourself go and focus all your attention on your husband. You still have to take care of yourself consistently as well. You can be a better wife if you are healthy and you look good.
Eat the right kinds of food. Do a lot of exercises at home. You can hit the gym if you want. Stay away from things that can give you stress and anxiety.
You should also build your self-esteem. Fix yourself up. Someone who is confident in herself can be a better wife to her spouse.
With experience and repetition, you can eventually be a truly submissive wife. This is not because you block yourself from making any decisions for yourself or your family.
You can still give your own opinions about particular things. You can object to different aspects of the family decisions that you think will not give you any gain. But ultimately, the responsibility of the final say lies with the husband.
You love him and you put your full trust in your husband as your provider, as the protector, and as the one who will take care of the whole family.