Everyone gets into a sexual rut from time to time. You may be overtired and overworked, or you may be raising kids. If you’ve been with the same partner for a long time, you may have lost the passion from when you were first together. So how do you spice up your sex life and get things back on track?
To spice up your sex life and get that spark back, you need to take things to a new level, such as:
- Switching up where you have sex
- Getting down and dirty in front of a mirror
- Sending and receiving sexy text messages
- Playing spicy games
- Using food
Intrigued by any of those? In this article, we’ll go in-depth on methods that can help you and your spouse reclaim that sexual fire that’s gone out between you two. By the time you’re done reading, you should have some pretty great ideas to try out!
Surefire Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life
The longer you’ve been in a relationship, the more likely you are to experience a rut in your sex life. This could be the result of simply falling into a routine without realizing it. You could also be in a situation where one or both of you is having difficulty articulating any new ideas. Here’s a list of some easy ways you and your partner can spice up your sex life.
Get Out of Bed
Changing your scenery is one of the easiest ways to keep your sex life fresh and exciting. Find some creative places in your house or apartment to get it on. Try your couch, dining room table, or even up against a wall. Make your move in the kitchen before dinner or in the bathroom after a shower. Remember to be mindful of your roommates if you have any.
Change Your Point of View
If you’re not quite ready to venture out of the bedroom, do the deed in front of a full-length mirror. Watching yourselves go at it is almost a guaranteed turn-on. There’s also no possibility of a sex tape making its way onto the Internet.
Incorporate some new positions into this as well. Couples tend to develop habits in the bedroom based on what works for them. Trying new positions is a great way to find things that can take your sex life to an even higher level.
Keep the Clothes On
Try taking off only a few articles of clothing. Unzip your partner’s fly instead of completely removing their pants. Push their underwear to the side instead of taking them off. This will create a “need you now” sense of urgency that can heat up your session.
Become a Master of the Quickie
Don’t underestimate the impact you can have with the element of surprise. We’re not talking about in the middle of doing dishes or during an argument over who’s cleaning the bathroom.
Instead, make your move the minute you walk in after a long day at work. You could even be waiting and ready for your partner when they step out of the shower. They’ll be sure to thank you later.
Sexy Text Messages
Send your partner suggestive text messages throughout the day. You don’t have to go completely X-rated with your messaging. Instead, try reminding your partner of one of the most memorable times you had sex. You could also send an innuendo-filled one-liner holding a personal meaning for both of you. If you do go the explicit route, keeping your thoughts in the gutter during the day will pay off for both of you at night.
Roleplaying is a fun, safe way for you to act on your wildest fantasies with your spouse. Tell your partner what you want to do or who you want to be and ask them what they want in return.
Once you’ve agreed on something, all you need to do is set it up. Dress for the rodeo to give reverse cowgirl a brand-new twist. Act out a dirty teacher/student fantasy. If you’re looking to be even more adventurous, meet up at a local bar using fake names. This could be a great way to get your sex life back on track.
Get a Gift for Two
Buying your partner a present both of you can enjoy in the bedroom can go a long way towards improving your sex life. Open a lingerie website on their computer and tell them to bookmark three items they like. Choose your favorite of the three to buy for them but keep it a surprise. If you'd like, you can buy all three and have your partner surprise you by wearing one of their choosing. You’ll both spend all day thinking about what you’ll get to unwrap that night.
Leave a Subtle Reminder
If your sex life has become predictable, try leaving your partner a very subtle reminder. Take a cologne or perfume they’ve told you they love on you and spritz it on their bedsheets. You can do this before you leave for work in the morning.
If you have to go out of town for a few days, doing this could have even more effect. The sense of smell can evoke very strong memories. A sweet reminder of what your partner can look forward to can spice things up a lot.
Bring Food Into the Bedroom
Bringing food into the bedroom is an easy way to spice up your sex life. Play a game with whipped cream, chocolate, or any other of your favorite flavors. Place the sweets on the parts of your body you want your partner to pay extra attention to. Then have your partner try to find your “sweet spots” without opening their eyes.
Give Games a Try
Playing games could serve as a great way to spice up your sex life. We’re not talking simple strip poker, though.
If you and your partner have a long history together, play a game of trivia. Ask where your first date or first kiss was. If your partner answers correctly, you take something off. Should they answer wrong, then they have to remove something.
You can also make your own sex dice. Assign your six favorite sex acts a number to correspond with one die. Decide who gives and receives on the odds and evens of the other die. Take turns with your partner rolling the dice and enjoying the moves.
Enhance or Inhibit the Senses
Don’t touch your partner with your hands for the entirety of one session. Use your lips and your breath to drive them wild. If you want to deprive your partner the feeling of touching you, break out the handcuffs. Make sure you know your limits if you’re going to start exploring light bondage. Agree on a safe word if things get a little too spicy for you.
Blindfolding your partner before performing oral is another option. You can use either an actual blindfold or a discarded tie or piece of clothing. By inhibiting your partner’s sight, their other senses become more alert. Being unaware of what you’re going to do next will heighten their anticipation. Once you’re done, you can always trade places.
Set Some Sex Rules
You may be in a situation where your social or working calendars are completely booked up. Your busy schedules may have caused sex to become a rare experience.
If this sounds at all familiar, then set some sex rules. Choose a night on your calendar and make sure you both keep it open. Turn it into a complete date night at a fancy restaurant. Removing yourselves from the craziness of your day-to-day lives may help get you back into the mood.
Use This Post as a Conversation Starter
Talking to your partner about spicing up your sex life may not be the most comfortable idea. You might be eager to get started, but you need your partner’s consent before trying anything new. Kick start the conversation by “accidentally” leaving this list open on the computer. When they see it and ask about it, you can respond by saying that you want to try some new things together.
How to Spice Up Your Sex Life While on Vacation
Sometimes life makes it near impossible for couples to connect in an intimate way. Stress can be a huge killer of sex drive. Going on vacation could be a great way to rekindle the fire you once had. Vacation sex is arguably the best part of time away for a couple. Here are a few ways to make your vacation unforgettable.
Get Into the Right Mindset
Choose a vacation destination that will make you feel sexy. Going to Disney World is a great idea for the family, but it’s not really that good for your sex life.
Your mindset is a huge part of feeling sexy, so consider some things leading up to your trip. How do you want to feel? What kind of things do you want to try? Spend a little time each day asking yourself these questions. This will help put you in an intimate, romantic place both mentally and physically.
Pack for the Heat
Sweats and oversized t-shirts are not for this trip. Consider them banned. Only pack outfits to make you feel sexy.
Go through your pile of special occasion lingerie at the back of your drawer. Pack your best swimsuits or get a new one especially for your trip. Take some time to put together a sensual vacation kit. Fill it with toys, lubricant, massage oils, candles, and whatever else you can think to add. When you arrive at your hotel, make sure your room has a relaxing and sexy atmosphere.
Explore Both Inside and Out
Take a little time out at the start of your vacation to explore your new surroundings. Most importantly, set aside some time to explore the bedroom.
Think back to when you were first dating your partner. You may have spent a lot of time in bed exploring each other’s bodies and having long sex sessions. Your vacation is the perfect time to get back to that kind of passionate sex. Take your time with each other. Search for some new hot spots to turn you both on.
Pump Up the Adrenaline
Sharing an exciting experience with your partner will create an adrenaline rush. The spike in adrenaline will trigger feelings of lust and intimacy that can make for amazing sex.
Take a vacation day to do something you’ve never done before. It should get your blood flowing, like surfing or skydiving. You’ll both be more amped up when you get back to your hotel room. Think of it as a day-long foreplay session that leads to a night filled with great sex.
Tips for Spicing Up Your Sex Life After 50
The experience of age can make sex after 50 better than it ever was before. There are several creative ways to spice things up if this isn’t happening for you. These ideas could lead to some of the best sex of your life.
Think Beyond Intercourse
For a lot of us, the idea of sex is limited to only the act of intercourse. It’s time to think beyond that idea.
Sex could be manual stimulation or putting more of a focus on oral activities. Explore your partner’s body and enjoy everything your body has to offer. This can open up a whole different world of sexual satisfaction to explore.
Start Incorporating Toys
Your body and hormones will change as you age. You may discover you need a little help to climax. There isn’t anything wrong with this.
This is where you can bring toys into your sex life. Talk with your partner about it and look into buying some toys together. You may find yourself asking why you waited so long to try them out.
Get the Camera Involved
Racy photos aren’t just for younger people who send pictures more than they call each other. Try getting sexy with a bedroom photoshoot. This is something that can give you a huge boost in confidence.
You could keep it simple and just use your phone’s camera or hire a pro photographer for the occasion. Realizing how sexy you are for your age can be a very empowering thing. Also, owning your sexuality this way can give you the confidence you need to own your sex life as well.
Create a Sexy Bucket List
Exercise the power you have to change your sex life for the better. Whether you’ve always wanted to be tied up or have a threesome, now is the time to try. Obviously, you need to talk to your partner about these things. You don’t want to put them in a situation where they feel uncomfortable. As long as it’s safe and you both consent, there’s no harm in trying something new.
What are the benefits of spicing up your sex life? A lack of physical intimacy can begin to put a real strain on your relationship. Spicing up your sex life can strengthen your emotional bond with your partner. It can also help you to discover new experiences you and your partner both enjoy.
If you two have been suffering a dry spell, you can put an end to it and get back to having great sex more frequently.
What are the most common reasons for a drop-off in sex? Some common reasons for a sexual dry spell can include a new baby or being afraid that your kids will hear you. You or your partner may also be having self-image issues, which can kill the mood between the sheets. There may even be issues around your desire for your partner or your partner’s desire for you. In that case, consider seeing a counselor.
Nicole Malczan is a content marketing writer and freelancer. She's applied her knowledge of marketing and SEO to many clients over the years, ranging from food service to facilities management and currency exchange. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, baking, and music.