Sex is wonderful. It is always a special event for couples to become connected intimately. When having sex, you both reach the highest levels of sensation in your relationship—both physically and emotionally. You can express your affection for one another through this act of love toward one another.
But like with every other aspect of your marriage, you need to put an effort to keep your sex life healthy and enjoyable. Sex, much like marriage, is not a sprint but a marathon. Here’s how you do it:
How to Keep Your Healthy Sex after Marriage
1.Keep yourselves physically healthy.
Okay. Let’s get this out of the way. To have a healthy sex life after marriage, you need to have healthy bodies to begin with. According to an article from WebMD.com, some of the common causes of loss of sexual drive in women are low testosterone, sicknesses medical conditions, and taking a lot of medication.
Women should take care of themselves in order to perform well under the sheets. If you are constantly depressed or stressed, different illnesses will surface. If you are anxious about everything, that will be reflected in how you have sex with your husband. Make sure to give yourself time to exercise. You should eat well and maintain a peace and healthy mind.
Most men I know tend to let themselves go after marriage. One friend said that the only reason he went to the gym was to find a girl he could marry. Now that he got the girl, he no longer needs to maintain a “sexy body.”
But you should know that a healthy and sexy body will translate to greater endurance and stamina during sex. You can also avoid erectile dysfunction when you regularly run and hit the gym. According to Health.com, you will also have greater satisfaction in sex when you exercise.
You may hear a lot of people saying that sex is all about experiencing your spouse through the different senses of the body- touch, taste, smell, and vision. But do you know that talking will also help you both during sex?
I am not just referring to the moans and groans you hear from your spouse when you have sex. This is more about opening yourself up to your partner in terms of what you like and what you do not want him or her to do.
Do we love everything about sex? Let’s be honest. Some of the things that our spouses do are not to our liking. For example, some women do not want their spouse to have beards because it tickles them every time and makes them unfocused on enjoying themselves.
Some men do not want to be kissed on specific parts of the body. Others do not want certain sexual positions. Some even do not want to have sex in some parts of the house.
But I know that you are scared of hurting your spouse by telling him or her about the things that he or she does that you do not particularly love. Is it really okay to say these things to your spouse?
Well, frankly, yes. A lot of couples have separated because of dissatisfaction in sex. You do not want to be part of this statistic. As early as possible, you need to communicate everything to your husband or wife.
Talking to your spouse about sex is not just about the bad things. You can also tell your spouse about the stuff that he does that makes you lose your mind! Not only will this boost his confidence during sex, but you will also enjoy the sex more when he does specific things more frequently.
3.Share your desires.
We all have expectations from our spouses regarding sex. We have desires and wishes that we dream to have done to us by our husband or wife. Should you just keep them to yourself and wait until he or she finally decides to try something new?
Of course not! You should be open to your partner about your sexual desires. Being honest with your spouse should manifest not just in your emotions, but also during sex. Do not be afraid of sharing something intimate with your spouse. Sex is about connecting and being vulnerable. Feel free to enjoy the luxuries of being in the covenant of marriage.
4.Continue in the journey of discovery.
You cannot just stick to the sex you know from five years ago and keep doing the same thing over and over again. Sex is a continuous evolution through discovery. You would not know what you are missing if you do not try things at all.
Instead of holding yourself back, let go of your restrictions and just enjoy your sex journey with your spouse. Be excited about what lies for you in the future. Trust your spouse and see the surprises that you will have down the line.
5.Sex is not just about the act.
Women will easily understand this. Sex is not just a physical act that helps you relieve your urges and get on with your normal routine for the day. Emotions are shown through sex. It is about connecting to the heart and the mind of your spouse.
For some people, it can totally be the opposite. It is not because they do not love their spouses. They do. But they are just wired differently. For example, men get aroused so easily. And the need to have a release is always there. It can be quite difficult to convince men to take sex slowly and just feel every moment and anticipate every step leading toward the event.
If you want to have a healthy sex life, you should be ready to do everything to satisfy your wife. If she wants foreplay, give it to her. If she wants to have you readily, then you can just go and do it. When you fulfill the sexual needs of your wife, I guarantee you, she will exceed your own expectations in sex. She will utterly and completely reciprocate what you did and do more to please you.
6.If you are quite busy, plan ahead.
Scheduling sex? Yes, definitely! If you both are too busy with work or attending to your kids, you should schedule a particular time for sex. By setting a plan days before, you can prepare your schedule and make sure that you can go home to your spouse with enough time to do whatever you want.
What’s great about scheduled sex is that you can build the excitement leading to your awaited day. You can send flirty texts to your partner. You can also be sensual with your calls. With all the anticipation you both have, you might actually make extra effort and have sex earlier than expected.
7.Set the mood.
For those who want to have a healthy sex life, you have to keep in mind that sex is the destination. To get to your destination, you must prepare for it. How can you do this? By setting the mood for the day.
Dating your spouse provides a great mood setter. You can bring your husband or wife to a nice restaurant to present a romantic atmosphere. Excellent food and intimate conversations can make the sex better later in the evening.
You can also be extra-touchy with your spouse. You can whisper in his ear or slide your fingers over his shoulders. Entice your partner by kissing him and then going back to what you are doing. Setting the mood can help you gain a long-lasting sexual relationship.
8.It is not just the responsibility of your spouse to provide passion.
Both men and women can be guilty of unconsciously relying on their spouse to provide the romance in the relationship. Women might say, “Because he is the guy, he should always be the one who should arouse my emotions.” Some men may have a mentality of just cruising through the marriage and keeping their wives in charge of the romance.
As a married couple, you both need to take responsibility and be accountable to one another with regard to sexual intimacy. Marriage is a give-and-take relationship. It is not about who should do this and who should do that.
It is more about doing things to please your spouse and make her feel satisfied and complete. It is going the extra mile whenever possible, not just because you have to do it but because you personally want to do it for your loving husband or wife.
It requires the best effort of both the husband and the wife to maintain a healthy sex after marriage. It takes a lot of figuring out, especially in regards to what you both like and what you prefer not to do.
But that is the fun of doing it with your spouse. You can experiment all you want, try new things, and explore your options. You keep yourself interested in each other and have something to look forward to every evening. Maintain a healthy sex life and don’t forget to enjoy the experience!