When a married couple hears about intimacy, it automatically translates to the physical—what actions each one should perform, how to properly do them,and when to apply them.
But do you know that there is another kind of intimacy? It is called emotional intimacy. Compared to physical intimacy, this type relates more to the heart of the relationship.
According to Merriam Webster, intimacy is the state of being intimate, familiarity, or something of a personal or private nature. We can derive from this meaning that intimacy, even on the emotional level, means familiarity with your spouse and the personal bond you share with each other.
If you want to build your emotional intimacy with your husband, you need to ask him these questions:
Questions to Ask Husband
To build intimacy in the relationship, your husband must be given all the information about you. If he does not fully know you, how can he respond to what you need?
In an article published in Psychology Today, marriage is defined as a contract. The writer said that both the husband and the wife bring their expectations to the table. They present the things they want and the things that they do not want. They unknowingly also show what they can give and what they can’t.
Give every detail of your life to your husband so that he will know who you really are. You can confirm whether he truly knows you by asking these questions:
- What do you want to know about me?
- What is my favorite color?
- What are my hobbies?
- What do you want to know about my childhood?
- How do you see my parents?
- When is my birthday again?
- What type of dresses do I prefer?
- What irritates me the most?
- Am I a morning person?
- Do I love pets?
- What is your favorite memory of me?
- Do you know what qualities I like about you?
- Do you know how much I love my parents?
- How many siblings do I have?
- Do you know what my biggest regret in life is?
- What am I afraid of?
You have to remember that you are a couple. And communication is supposed to be a two-way street. Once he knows every detail about you, what you should do next is ask him questions about himself. You must exert every effort to know everything about your husband. You can better share your thoughts and emotions to someone whom you fully know. Here are some of the questions that you can ask your husband about himself:
- What were you doing before you met me?
- What makes you happy?
- What cuisines do you like?
- What are the things that drive you nuts?
- How should I make you feel loved?
- What should I do to make you comfortable in the house?
- What are your talents?
- Do you have home repair skills?
- Are you great with kids?
- What are the attributes that you think make you a great man?
- How is your relationship with your father?
- How is your relationship with your mom?
- How was your childhood?
- Do you have any special place that you go to when you want to be alone?
- What is your most favorite song?
- What is your least favorite song?
- If you have one day left in this world, what would you do?
- Do you love books?
- What genre do you love to read?
- Are you into writing?
- Do you like to write features or editorials?
- Do you have journal that you keep?
- If you got stranded on an island, what are the three things that you will bring?
- If you can eat one type of food all your life, what will it be?
- What are the top five vacation destinations that you wish to go to?
- Who are your personal heroes?
- What is your greatest accomplishment in your life as of today?
- What is your ultimate failure that you get embarrassed telling others?
- What did you learn after failing miserably on that situation?
- What stresses you the most?
- If you are in the most stressful state in your life, who is the first person that you will talk to?
- Who is your biggest supporter?
- What are you most scared of?
- Do you have allergies that I should know about?
- What is the best compliment that anyone has given to you?
- Who are the mentors that created an impact in your life?
About your relationship
The next questions that you should ask your husband are about your relationship. These pertain to all that is happening in your life as a couple. The moment you get married, you are no longer living for yourself.
You have made a covenant with your husband to be with each other in good times and in bad. You, as a couple, should assess where you are in your marriage. Ask these questions to evaluate your emotional intimacy with each other.
- What do you see in me when you look at me?
- When did you first feel that you were in love with me?
- What are the 5 things you like most about me?
- What are the times that you are happiest with me?
- What movie best symbolizes our marriage today?
- What was your most favorite date we had?
- What are the best trait we have as a couple?
- What instance did I make you laugh so hard?
- How did you know that it was time for us to get married?
- How did you plan your marriage proposal?
- Do I do things that make you angry?
- What is your fondest sexual memory of us?
- When was the last time that you daydreamed about our marriage?
- What do I need to change in myself to make our marriage last?
- What characteristics should I maintain in my life to continue making this marriage work?
- What hobbies can we both get into?
- Do you think we can exercise together to stay fit?
- If we have a vacation next month, where will you take me?
- Can you describe our marriage in three words?
- What is the level of our friendship today?
- When we fight, how do you wish to handle it?
- Did you get the marriage that you dreamed of when you were younger?
- How are we different from each other?
- How are we alike in character and in personality?
- When your heart is broken, how can I ease your pain?
- How can we keep ourselves connected emotionally?
- How can we take care of each other?
- What gifts do you want to receive in our anniversaries?
- How can we resolve our conflicts without hurting each other?
About your future plans
As a couple, you should have a single vision of your future together. Knowing where your marriage will go can build the emotional intimacy in your relationship. It is your assurance in your marriage that you both have a plan going forward through the years of your marriage. How should you ask the future plans of your husband? I believe that the best way to do this is just to plainly ask him about it and wait for a sincere answer.
- How do you see our marriage five or ten years from now?
- Do you see us staying in this house for the long term?
- Are you planning to change jobs in the near future?
- How many kids do you want us to have?
- Are we going to homeschool our kids or let them attend traditional school?
- How many sons do you want?
- How many daughters do you want?
- How will you raise our kids?
- What type of house do you want to live in?
- What color would you paint the house?
- Do you want to have a backyard?
- What are your plans when we reach our retirement age?
- Do you want to retire by the sea?
You have chosen each other to be with for the rest of your lives. Even if you are busy with your lives as individuals in your careers and personal aspirations, you still need to focus on your marriage. But the good thing about being married is that you are not alone. You can talk to your husband, communicate with him, and figure things out.
Marriage is all about teamwork. Emotional intimacy should be sustained throughout the marriage. It will only be unceasing if you spend time together, be completely familiar with each other, and develop a deep and personal relationship.