Anyone in a relationship should know some questions for conversation. After all, good communication is an essential part of any healthy relationship. By having a deep conversation with your partner, you can strengthen the bond you both have. You can even avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary arguments. But where should you start?
The questions for couples we have listed here can inspire you to start thinking of your own questions. Ask any questions you think of in conversation to help you and your partner get to know each other better. You can also choose some of the questions below to boost the communication in your relationship. If you’re in a long-term relationship, these questions can rekindle the romantic spark you had in the beginning, even if you thought you lost it.
In this article, we’ll present more than 70 questions you can ask your partner. We have everything here from conversation starters to questions that will kick start deep conversations. These include honest questions, thoughtful ones, and romantic questions as well.
Couples Conversation Starters
Starting a conversation as a couple is a little different than having any other talk. This is your significant other, after all. You already know more about each other than you do maybe anybody else. Asking them run-of-the-mill questions like “what are you doing today?” doesn’t spark the best or most memorable conversations.
Here are some questions you can ask to get deeper, more responsive reactions from your partner and have the conversations you’ve always dreamed of.
What’s your idea of a perfect weekend?
It’s easy to fall into the rut of a boring weekend routine. This question is a great way to make your weekend plans more exciting together.
What’s the craziest job offer you would ever think of accepting?
Work is a big part of everyone’s day-to-day life. Ask your partner this question to find out how they would mix up their career.
Did you enjoy high school or college more?
Your partner may have fond memories of performing in their high school band, or they may rather recall their partying days back in college.
If you only had one day left to live, how would you spend it?
This question is a great way to find out what your partner’s priorities are. Asking this can ignite longer conversations about what is important to them.
If you were granted three wishes from a magic lamp, what would those wishes be?
Asking about your partner’s wishes and desires is a wonderful way to start a conversation about what they want from life.
What do you think my spirit animal would be?
This may seem like a silly question, and that’s the point. Asking offhand questions such as this can get your partner engaged in playful conversation.
What is your favorite book, movie, or song?
You may discover that you and your partner have similar tastes. You may also be introduced to new things that you never would have explored without them.
How would you spend one million dollars?
Financial decisions can tell you a lot about a person’s priorities and personality. Ask this question to get an idea of where your partner stands.
What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done in your life?
Almost everyone has done something risky at least once. Your partner may not live life on the edge, but this is a sure way to get a good story from them.
What do you think can make me smile?
A simple smile can be a powerful way to connect with your partner. This question is a great way to end up laughing together.
Is traveling something you enjoy?
Finding out if your partner likes traveling is a great way to plan a surprise weekend away. If they’re not the traveling type, plan a relaxing weekend at home.
Did you collect anything when you were younger?
Learning about your partner’s childhood passions and interests clues you in more about their personality.
Honest Couples Questions
Building a strong relationship takes straightforwardness and honesty. Knowing how to introduce these qualities early on can be challenging. Sometimes the best way to go about this is to ask relationship questions that really get you talking about what’s important. Use the following questions to make your relationship stronger, whether the subject is uncomfortable or not.
What would be a deal-breaker in a relationship for you?
Everyone has certain things in a relationship they will not tolerate under any circumstances. Knowing what that means to your partner early is critical to a good relationship.
What do you consider cheating?
This might seem obvious to you, but your partner may have a different viewpoint on the matter.
Are you friendly with any of your exes?
Speak openly about your approach to old relationships both good and bad. Something you view as normal may make your partner uncomfortable and vice-versa.
How well do you think I would take care of you if you got sick?
“In sickness and in health” doesn’t only apply to marriage. How you care for one another during bad times speaks volumes about your connection.
How would you live differently if you won the lottery tomorrow?
Talk about what your ideal life would look like. See if you’re both on the same page when a large sum of money gets added to the equation.
What do you think are your best and worst personality traits?
Knowing the answer to this question can help you boost your partner’s self-esteem when they’re feeling down.
What makes you feel better after a bad day at work?
This is good to know, as everyone has bad days at some point. When one of those days happens, you’ll know what to do to make it a little better.
How would you feel if one of us were offered a job that required a lot of travel?
Being apart for long periods could be an issue for your partner. You could also ask how they feel about owning your own business and being together all the time. Keep both answers in mind for possible future events.
How would you respond if we had difficulty having a baby?
This happens to a lot of couples, so it’s better to discuss the subject upfront. Don’t wait to have the conversation until you’re actually in this situation, as by then, tensions are already high.
Is there any circumstance where you think it’s okay to lie?
As with the cheating question we mentioned earlier, this may seem obvious to you. Your partner could have a different opinion, though, and it’s vital to know where they stand.
Where would be your ideal place to buy a home?
When the day comes to settle down, make sure you both have similar goals for where you want to put down roots.
Is there anything I can do to make you trust me more?
You don’t have to reserve this question for after a fight or during another stressful situation. Asking your partner about trust may be viewed as very sweet on your part.
Thoughtful Couples Questions
After being in a relationship long enough, your conversations can begin to run dry. You’ve gone through all the basics and you aren’t sure where to take things next. This can be a perfect time to ask thoughtful questions to pick the conversation back up. Choose a few of these ideas to engage in a memorable talk with your partner.
What was your very first thought of me?
Perhaps it was love at first sight, or maybe you didn’t get along when you first met. The answer may be surprising.
When did you first think I was attractive?
Your partner will probably tell you they found you attractive from the moment they first saw you. You may have already known this, but it’s always nice to hear it.
What is something you’ve never been able to ask me?
Convince your partner to ask you whatever is on their mind. It may turn out to be something that matters a lot to them.
Do you feel like you’re important when we’re with my family?
To keep your relationships with your family and your partner as harmonious as possible, you need the answer to this question.
How long do you think a couple should wait to start having children?
This can be a fun speculative conversation early on in your relationship. As you progress, it can become a much more crucial one.
What is your favorite memory with your parents?
You partner’s favorite family memories will give you some insight into their upbringing. You’ll also get an idea of the kind of memories they want to make with their own children one day.
Is there a food that makes you think of me?
Your partner may not have an answer to this question right away. Asking it will definitely get them thinking about you in a different way, though.
When do you feel the most protected and safe?
Don’t limit yourself to expecting your partner’s answer to be “with you”. They may not be comfortable in social situations and feel safest at home.
What about our relationship do we need to work on the most?
This can be a very difficult but necessary question. There could be a big issue brewing beneath the surface that your partner isn’t sure how to bring up. This gives them the chance to.
What is your favorite thing I’ve done for you on a special occasion?
Asking this question is almost cheating. Take your partner’s answer and do a slightly different version the next time the occasion comes around.
Which one of your parents are you more like?
Don’t let your partner answer with the parent they’re closer to. Have them think about it and tell you which of their parents they share the most personality traits with.
When did you realize I was the one for you?
Relive what is no doubt a moment your partner will never forget.
Romantic Couples Questions
Keeping the romance going strong in a long-term relationship can be challenging. Asking some romantic questions can be a powerful tool in keeping intimacy in your relationship alive. Here are some questions you can ask your partner on those nights you want to rekindle intimacy.
What would be your idea of the perfect romantic getaway?
Instead of beating around the bush, ask you partner what to do to make a special date with them. Take their suggestions and add your own personal spin to them.
What is the most romantic thing I’ve ever done for you?
Romance is a very personal, individual experience. Your partner’s answer may surprise you. It may also give you an idea to surprise them with in the future.
Which song reminds you of me?
Music can influence our moods and emotions. Find out what kind of music your partner associates with thoughts of you.
What about our relationship makes you the happiest?
Focus on the positive aspects of being together. This can be a great way to start to shape an optimistic future for you both.
Where would you go on your dream honeymoon?
Spend an afternoon or evening thinking about the perfect spot for your big romantic getaway. Dreaming of that time together and talking about all the different possibilities can be fun.
Do you remember our first kiss?
You may be amazed at how many small details of your first kiss your partner remembers. It may also help you in case you can’t quite recall when or how it happened.
What is your craziest fantasy?
Your partner may not answer this question the first time you ask. It will definitely get them to think about their fantasies and how you fit into them, which is good.
What is your favorite sexual memory of me?
Your partner may hold onto one particular memory of a night they feel was the best they’ve ever had.
Where on your body do you like to be kissed the most?
The question may seem strange to ask a long-term partner, but if you’ve never given it any thought, you honestly might not know. Asking your partner this question can go a long way towards spicing up your sex life.
What is your favorite thing about me?
Make sure you’re ready and willing to share your favorite thing about your partner in kind.
What is your favorite physical trait you have?
Compliment your partner on whatever they provide you with as an answer. You can also point out what your favorite physical trait of theirs is as well.
Do you have any secret thoughts when we see each other in the evening?
This can be a great way to open up new possibilities for your sex life. Your partner may have never acted on these thoughts because they think you’re too tired when you get home.
Deep Couples Questions
Achieving a stable, deep connection in your relationship isn’t a perfect process. It takes a great deal of work, but it can be rewarding for you both. Setting some time aside to sit down and ask some deep questions brings about a new level of intimacy. Here are some examples of deep questions for couples you can use.
Do you believe true love really exists?
The idea of true love is a fantastic topic to start with. It can lead to some deep and meaningful discussions between you and your partner.
What is the one thing that scares you more than anything else?
Learning how to embrace and overcome your fears together can contribute to more lasting and stronger connections.
What did you learn from your last relationship?
Some of the lessons we learn from past relationships can be difficult and painful. However, they can also ensure happiness in the future, so these lessons are very valuable.
Do you believe confessions build strength in a relationship?
If either of you answer yes to this, then take it as a chance to openly and honestly confess your failures in a safe environment.
Are you satisfied with your life right now?
Finding satisfaction in your life is a long and complicated process. Talking with your partner about it can help you both understand your lives separately and together.
Who would be the first person you would call if you got into trouble?
Learning who your partner relies on in traumatic times tells you a lot about their deepest personal relationships.
Is it easier for you to love yourself or to be kind to others?
We all need to be able to love ourselves before we can truly show love to others. Think about how you can help your partner show themselves love.
What is something you feel insecure about?
Security in your relationships builds stability. Being open and honest with each other about your personal insecurities can bring you closer to one another.
What would you change about your past if given the chance?
We all have some regrets in life. These may have to do with past relationships or some other aspects of our past. Talking about these with your partner can lead to a very rewarding discussion.
What is one thing others seem to misunderstand about you?
Your partner may have a personality trait about them that takes some time to understand. Ask this question to know where you need to put in extra work to understand your relationship.
How long does it take for you to trust another person?
Trust cannot be built overnight. Understanding how long it takes to build trust with your partner can tell you where you are in the relationship.
How has your family shaped who you are as a person?
Family upbringing plays a huge role in who we are as people. Ask what your partner’s family life was like growing up. Learn who they’re close to and how those relationships are today.
Fun Couples Questions
If you’re looking to start a conversation that’s more low-key and relaxed, ask some random questions instead of checking your social media feeds. Use the opportunity to have some fun while getting to know each other better. Your relationship will reap a great deal of benefits. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
What is the most expensive item you’ve ever purchased?
Splurge purchases aren’t always the best idea, but sometimes you have to treat yourself. Talking to your partner about this is a good way to gauge where their priorities lie.
Do you keep in touch with any of your childhood friends?
Lifelong friends will know things about your partner that no one else will – even you. Developing a friendship with them will be a great way to show you care about your partner.
What is the best prank you’ve ever pulled on someone?
Sharing old stories of pranks from long ago can lead to some good insight on your partner. You may find they have a fun, mischief-loving side to them that you never knew about.
What was the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you in public?
Learning how to deal with embarrassment is an essential skill for grown adults. Ask what happened and how your partner learned from the moment.
How would you rate yourself as a kisser?
This is an obviously loaded question. No matter how your partner answers, challenge them to prove it to you.
Are you a fan of me wearing cologne/perfume?
Your partner may have a favorite scent with positive memories linked to it. You may want to try wearing it, or you may suggest your partner try one out.
Is there an exotic animal you would like to ride once in your lifetime?
This is a good question to lighten the mood. It’s a question that’s unexpected and funny and will provide you an entertaining conversation.
What is the most impulsive thing you’ve done in your life?
Your partner may not be an impulsive person in the least, but they may have made some impulsive choices at some point. These choices can serve as a launch pad for a further conversation.
What kind of fashion is most appealing to you?
Understanding how your partner enjoys seeing you dressed is a good way to increase their desire towards you.
Who would you switch lives with for one day?
Ask this question to find out if there’s anyone who you partner is envious of. You may find they would rather keep their own life, and you’re a big part of the reason for that.
If you had the power of invisibility, how would you use it?
Find out if your partner would use their newfound powers for good or evil. Substitute in other superpowers for a fun topic of conversation that can last a long time.
What is the one job you would never do no matter how much money you were offered?
Find out what principles matter more than money. Learning the kind of things your partner strongly dislikes is as necessary as learning their preferences.
How do I start a conversation with my partner? Starting a conversation with your partner is a great deal easier than starting a conversation with a stranger. You already know you’ll be seeing each other at some point. Be patient and wait for the most convenient time for both of you to talk. Set some time aside specifically for the occasion. Turn off your tablets and phones to limit distractions. Then you can sit down together for the sole purpose of having a genuine conversation.
Is there a way to make conversations with my partner more fun? Don’t give too much attention to the content of your conversations if you’re trying to be lighthearted and fun. The connection you have to your partner is what matters above all else.
Incorporating conversation games will help you enjoy yourselves no matter the content of your conversation. It’s not necessary to think of a complicated game, either. You can play common games such as “Never Have I Ever”, “Truth or Dare”, or “Two Truths and One Lie”.
Nicole Malczan is a content marketing writer and freelancer. She's applied her knowledge of marketing and SEO to many clients over the years, ranging from food service to facilities management and currency exchange. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, baking, and music.