Every husband dreams of having a good wife to live the rest of his life with. A good woman to be the mother of his children. And a good mother to take care of the family.
But what really makes a good wife?
Well, before getting married, almost everybody in my whole family left me with a very important piece of advice; “Be a good a wife”
Back then, I was pretty confident that I would be a good wife. Simply because I was a good friend, girlfriend, and fiancé to my man. I would simply continue being good to him and he would definitely see me as a good wife.
But ooops! That’s what I thought.
Forward to six months after our marriage, my husband and I started struggling with petty things. Our issues started off small but it didn’t take long before the size of our problems grew bigger.
Then I learned that my man has a list of resentments, and that really confounded me. I thought it was so unfair for him to bear that rancor when I believed I was being the best wife that I could possibly be.
But of course, I was wrong. I was a little self-centered back then. I didn’t realize that some of my behaviors were not healthy for our marriage.
So, I did my best to become an even better wife for my husband.
And it was during that time when I learned the makings of a good wife. Let me share them with you below.
7 Most Desirable Qualities of A Good Wife Every Husband Dreams of
1.A good wife cooks for her husband.
The next time you decide to order Chinese food or pizza for dinner, think twice. Your husband would prefer it if you’re the one who has cooked your meals.
I know the urban life can be so absorbing that you can’t even make time to do the groceries. But you have to remember – a good wife cooks for her husband. So if it’s your goal to be one, then you must do your groceries and whip up something for dinner every night.
Besides, it is believed that cooking is a great tool to create bonds. It can build and strengthen the connection between people or couples.
Having said that, cooking a simple dinner for your husband everyday should help you both to improve and affirm your bond. I guess it’s a great way to show your love for him too!
2.A good wife avoids nagging.
If I am honest, I don’t think nagging wives actually intend to nag or hurt their husband’s feelings with words. Sometimes, emotions are just too powerful to take control over what comes out of our mouth.
Be that as it may, I still don’t agree that it is okay to nag. Because nagging can’t get you what you want. Things don’t and shouldn’t work that way.
In fact, constantly nagging your husband could be dangerous for his health. A rather intriguing research study found that around 315 deaths per 100,000 people annually were potentially caused by stressful relationships.
Additionally, researchers said that men who have nagging wives are more than twice as likely to die within a decade of their marriage. The reason behind this, obviously, is the stress brought about by arguments and demands of women.
On that basis, I bet it’s safe to say that a good wife avoids nagging. Nagging is not good for your husband. If you feel the need to communicate your frustrations and resentments, talk it over in the most peaceful manner you can.
3.A good wife cleans the house.
No man would ever want to go home to a messy and unorganized room after a hard day’s work. As a woman of the house, it is your duty to ensure the cleanliness of your house when your husband gets home.
Well they do say, a tidy home is a tidy mind. With all the chaos going on at your husband’s workplace, greeting him with a neat and peaceful home is one of the best gifts you can give him everyday.
And in case you missed it, a study has already proven that cleaning doesn’t just benefit your home, it is also beneficial to your health as it increases your physical activity. Consequently, your risk for cardiovascular diseases purportedly reduces as well.
But I am very well aware that cleaning the house could take a lot of your hours. And if you’re also working the same hours as your husband, it’s almost impossible for you to still take care of the household chores.
This is nothing to fret about, though. Cleaning services are easily available these days. You can just flawlessly hire a cleaner to do the cleaning for you!
4.A good wife gives her husband time for himself.
Men need their “guy time.” So don’t ever mess your head if your husband always asks for some personal time with his friends.
A good wife understands that his man has friends and peers to put before her. She knows it is important that they both give themselves time apart to pursue their own interests.
Although it is ideal for married couples to share similar activities and interests, there are just some things you can enjoy better with your friends or alone. Personal time, after all, promotes individualism.
Individuality is important to happiness and self-worth. Without it, people could turn from confident to numb or worse.
An interesting study where psychologists had set up a metaphorical prison spoke so much about individuality and its significance. In the experiment, they asked participants to play as the prisons and prison guards. The guards stripped the individuality out of the prisoners by maltreating them like they were worth nothing in this world.
Unfortunately, it only took them 6 days before someone broke down and they had to stop the experiment. But at least we were given a glimpse of what would happen when somebody is deprived of individuality. It could make a person forget his self-worth and soon turn into a slave to power.
This is how important individuality is. Couples must be careful not to be over controlling in each other’s lives. Despite being married, a husband and a wife are still two individuals with unique needs. Personal time is necessary to meet such needs.
5.A good wife picks her arguments properly.
Like it or not, arguing is one of the constant things in marriage. As a matter of fact, it is said that some small petty fights within couples may stay unresolved for the rest of their lives. Meaning, there’s a good chance that the same arguments will knock on your door every month or every year.
This is according to Gottman’s Couples Therapy study, which stated that 69 percent of couple arguments are recurring. They don’t reach resolutions. But it’s not all bad.
Arguments are common in all kinds of relationships. It fosters learning. However, problems normally arise when some people choose to argue even when it’s not being called for.
In marriage, for example, couples normally have disagreements. That’s okay. But what’s not okay is to fight about simple matters that only require a little conversation.
A good wife knows how to choose her arguments properly. She realizes that not all misunderstandings should lead to fights. Most of the time, couples just need to stop and talk awhile to settle disagreements.
6.A good wife trusts her husband.
Trust is so valuable and precious that if you give it to someone, you won’t be able to take it back when it gets broken. It also takes a daunting process to repair when it’s damaged.
However, entering into marriage comes with the duty of giving your trust to your husband. Even if there’s a possibility for you to be hurt if your partner doesn’t treasure it the way you expected.
But in reality, not all women actually trust their partners. Believe it or not, almost 10 percent out of 1000 wives admitted to not trusting their husbands. Some of them constantly check on their man, reads emails and texts, downloaded tracking devices, some even log on to their husband’s social media accounts.
A good wife understands that her husband is an individual who deserves his own privacy. She trusts him. Thus, she doesn’t make it a habit to snoop on her man’s personal devices like mobile phones and laptops to read private messages.
7.A good wife is a happy wife.
A good wife appreciates her life with her husband. Therefore, she is happy and she finds happiness even in the most difficult times. Any man would love to come home to a happy wife.
As per a research in the Journal of Family and Marriage, the happiness of a wife has a great impact on her husband’s life. “I think it comes down to the fact that when a wife is satisfied with the marriage she tends to do a lot more for her husband, which has a positive effect on his life,” said Professor Deborah Carr of Rutgers University.
Carr mentions that a wife’s satisfaction leads to her doing more things for her husband as a result, which I definitely agree with. When a person is happy, it actually creates a ripple effect in everything he/she touches. The joy radiates and people around seem to be infected with the good vibes carried by that individual.
If a wife is happy everyday and good vibes are scattered all over the place, what more could a husband ask for?
I guess many of the most desired qualities of a good wife are easily learned or developed. And in this age when more and more couples are marrying and divorcing in more or less than a decade, it is time we give importance to bettering ourselves for our marriage.
A satisfying, happy and lasting marriage is an achievement that requires a long and sometimes intimidating process. But whatever it is that seems to make things more difficult for you, just look at the wonderful person you married and the future that lies ahead of you. Can you see that future without him? I guess no.
So love your husband and don’t ever stop improving yourself for yourself and for him.