They say men are more likely to cheat than women. But that doesn’t mean that women aren’t capable of cheating. I know this because my wife did.
Maybe one of my worst nightmares was when I discovered that my wife is having an affair. You might think that it hurt my manly ego, but it actually didn’t.
It pained the whole of me. I was betrayed, disappointed, and I felt disrespected.
I love my wife. There’s no other woman I dreamed of, only her.
And now that she has tainted our marriage with infidelity, I honestly don’t know how to feel about it. I still love her, of course. Nothing will change that.
Some mornings, I wonder what if it didn’t happen? What if everything I saw was just part of a nightmare?
I want to wake up and meet my wife at a time when it was just me. When I was the only man in her life.
Well, that just can’t be. This is the reality. And I have to face it.
But to be honest, before I woke up to the big reveal, I spotted a few hints that my wife could be cheating on me. I just didn’t pay much attention to them, maybe because I was in denial.
However, I just can’t choose to shut my eyes when the signs are already presenting themselves straight to my face.
Here Are The 5 Obvious Signs My Wife is Having An Affair.
1.She is being distant and emotionally withdrawn.
One quality that made me fall in love with my wife is her sweetness. She can get too clingy sometimes, but I just let her be because I’d rather have her cling to me than to another man.
And because she is a sweet loving woman, I am used to random text messages coming from her every day. She also often calls during lunch, and there are times when she pops up in my office to take me on a date. A very sweet girl, isn’t she?
However, things started to change a few months ago. I no longer receive messages from her. She became too busy at work and the frequency of our date nights went from thrice a month to zero.
That was the first obvious sign that my wife was cheating on me.
One of the major signs of infidelity is when your spouse suddenly gives you too much personal space. According to sex therapist Ian Kerner, women commonly cheat due to emotional reasons. So if a woman retracts and is emotionally withdrawn, she might have found another person to share those emotions with.
Husbands, we usually complain about nagging wives. But be careful. When wives start to be less talkative and when she no longer cares about what you do for a whole day, she might be saving her attention and interest for someone else.
2.She says no to sex.
Some women are not as active as men when it comes to sexual activities. But if your wife constantly refuses to have sex with you, then she might be cheating on you.
A cheating wife would normally enjoy having sex with her side man more than she enjoys sex with her husband. This is why it is expected for her to say no to sex when it’s her husband asking for it.
In my case, my wife doesn’t normally refuse sex with me. I can even say we have a healthy sex life because I believe our sexual needs are satisfied every time we do the deed.
So naturally, I had doubts the first time she refused to have sex with me. It’s not usual for her to say “I’m tired” when I initiate sex.
But I chose to believe that she was just tired. Until she did it over and over. I knew then that something was up.
Studies say that when a woman cheats, she either stays away from having sex or she suddenly becomes experimental in bed. It is important to note, however, that these signs can get easily misinterpreted.
There are health conditions that reduce a woman’s libido, which can explain her refusal of sex. On the other hand, some ladies might crave sexual varieties to spice up their sex life because marriage can get boring over time.
Having said that, you better not jump into conclusions when you spot these cheating signs. It’s best to confront your wife about it than stress yourself with unconfirmed accusations.
3.She is becoming secretive.
Being secretive doesn’t tell much about a person. Somebody can keep secrets for many reasons, including shame and trauma.
But in the case of a married couple, secrets aren’t always welcomed with an open heart. Especially if one of the pairs is becoming secretive about his/her daily activities.
When I realized my wife was actually cheating on me, I noticed that she was making an effort to secure her mobile phone when I’m around. Like when we’re watching TV and she needs to go to the bathroom, she usually leaves her phone on the table.
But that changed. The phone comes with her wherever she goes.
I also noticed that my wife doesn’t share much about what happened throughout the day like she used to. And worse, she keeps her schedule a secret. I don’t even know where she is during the day.
I chose to think that she was just bombarded with a lot of tasks at work. But I know, of course, that being secretive is a sign of disloyalty in marriage.
The change in her behavior almost gave it away. But I needed more proof. I still had to validate my doubts until I spotted her lying.
My wife is usually open with me. I believe she has never had a reason to lie as I’ve worked hard to make her comfortable talking about anything to me.
When she was having an affair, however, I caught her red-handed. She lied about her work schedule.
I asked her to head home straight after work so we could catch some favorite Netflix shows after dinner. She said she had to work overtime to finish a few tasks.
I didn’t want to wait for her at home, so I turned my engines on and headed to her workplace. She wasn’t there.
When I called her to ask where she was, she didn’t answer my calls. As I headed back home, I was choosing between confronting her or waiting for her to admit it. I knew that the second choice was nearly impossible.
However, experts do not recommend confronting a lying spouse. It’s best to gather more proof about your suspicions.
Well, in my situation, I guess every single piece of evidence had already waved at me. It was just me who chose to unsee them.
I was weak. I didn’t know what to do. I had to reflect and accept that my wife was cheating on me.
5.She’s unhappy with your marriage.
The night I discovered my wife was lying, I went home to contemplate what happened in my marriage. Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong?
I am not the perfect husband, I know. As a matter of fact, I am the one who’s busy reaching my goals.
I am too engaged at work. In my marriage, it’s always my wife who had to pick me up in the office for our date nights because she knows my job demands a lot from me.
She had been complaining about my lack of time and commitment to our plans. But I just always explained to her the same things: “Honey, I am doing it for us,” “Honey, I have to reach my dreams,” “Honey, we just have to be patient for now, soon we’ll have more time.”
Possibly, she had grown tired of waiting for me. She must have been unhappy and I was too naive to notice.
One of the main reasons why women cheat is unhappiness. When wives are no longer happy with their marriage, they tend to look for that happiness and excitement with someone else.
I realize that it’s not my fault that my wife is having an affair. It’s hers.
But the mistake is not hers alone. I may have played a part in why my wife had to cling to another man. However, nothing can pardon what she has done. Cheating is morally and ethically wrong.
I know now that my wife is cheating on me even without seeing her with another man. So yes, I confronted her.
I cannot tell exactly when can I forgive her, but we are in the process of healing. If there’s one thing we learning from this huge trouble, that is to love and trust each other more.
We will be needing more love and trust to revitalize our marriage. This will take time and I know it won’t be easy.
I just hope we get through it in the soonest time possible because I miss my wife so much. I miss the happy us.