Marriage is a complex relationship between people who seek to be together. It cannot be defined by just a simple statement due to all its intricacies. But more often than not, we turn the meaning of marriage into something that adapts to the reasons why we chose to get married in the first place. Because of this, we lose sight of its true value, significance, and worth.
Instead of adapting marriage into what we are as individuals, we must know the real meaning of marriage for us and for our spouses.
To tell you the truth, there is no one true meaning of marriage. The mere mention of marriage requires the words love, bond, vows, and fulfillment. But below, see what marriage is not:
1.Marriage is not simple.
If you think that you are making your life simpler by getting married, well, you better think again. Darlene Schacht, a popular writer, said that marriage is a thousand little things. Marriage can bring you a lot of things, but simplicity is not one of them.
Think of it this way. You, as an individual, have many qualities and characteristics. You have your own desires and wants. You have things that make you laugh and things that tick you off. Mix these all up with another person, who has his own set of traits, aspirations, pet peeves, and goals in life, and you have a concoction of various behaviors.
2.Marriage is not all fun.
The enticement of marriage usually comes from romantic movies, which often stop at the beginning of marriage. The courtship is fun, of course. Often, you both put your best foot forward and show your best to the person you are in love with.
But marriage is totally different. You are going to be with this person day in and day out. You are not able to hide bad habits. You cannot cover your not-so-good qualities with just a text or a walkout. He sees everything.
The good thing is that it also works both ways. You will see the ill behaviors that your spouse has. You can view, in broad daylight, the things that will make you cringe and wince. If you see your spouse as someone who is perfect, then brace yourself! He is as imperfect as the last guy you dated.
3.Marriage is not something you can throw out at the first instance of anger.
If anger were the sole reason why people got divorced, then none of your friends would stay married. All couples get angry at each other, some just get louder and wilder. But that should not be the barometer to get out of marriage.
A lot of issues will come up, especially in the first year of marriage, where the whole personality of your spouse will be seen. You have every right to be angry. But you also have the responsibility to work things out with him. Differences should not be a reason to leave, but a way to embrace your individuality.
4.Marriage is not all about you.
When you enter into marriage, you should remind yourself that you are now going to be in a full-time relationship with another person. This means 24 hours a day and seven days a week.
To tell you frankly, you will lose a portion of your privacy after marriage. If you thought before that the world revolved around you, then you should realize that you are now two people.
You are not only yourself anymore. When you decide on something, you are not just considering your welfare but also your spouse’s. You will make judgments based on whether it will be good not only for yourself, but also for him or her.
Now that you know what marriage is not.
Let’s Focus on the True Meaning of Marriage.
1.Marriage is a union.
You may have heard this statement a thousand times during a wedding. And it is true. Marriage is a union between two people. When we say union, it means that you will be united in everything related to your marriage.
What that does mean? For aspects that will affect your marriage, you should both agree on them. The topics can be as light-hearted as the colors of the bedroom wall or the furniture to be used.
It can be about the school you want your kids to attend, the kind of lifestyle that you want to live, or even the careers that you both want to pursue.
Careers? Yes, you should talk about it. Even if you are a career-oriented person, you still have to sort things out with your husband or wife. Your minds should be in tune with each other so that the succeeding decisions will be based on this one.
Why? Because you will both need time together and time apart. You will want to earn for the family and spend time with each other. Anything that will make an impact on your marriage should be discussed between the two of you.
2.Marriage means continuous change.
Nothing is constant in this world except change. And this occurs even after marriage. You should learn to adapt to the different seasons of your marriage. Various situations will come your way, and you will both need to depend on each other to overcome obstacles, beat problems, and conquer your personal travails and struggles.
Continuous change is important for a marriage. As you individually grow into your marriage and try to reach your aspirations and dreams in life as individuals, you must also be able to change as a couple.
Changing is not a bad thing. We may see some changes as bad for us, but overall, if we look at the bigger picture, change always helps us mature as people and teaches us to level up our way of nurturing a relationship.
3.Marriage means continuous learning.
You do not stop learning after the wedding. Building your relationship requires you to evolve as a couple. One way to do this is through learning. What should you learn about?
Learn more about your spouse. Discover more things about him. Some of the qualities that you know nothing about may be revealed during the marriage. Be intentional when you seek details about your partner. Be excited to learn more about his likes, his goals in life, and everything else in between.
Learn more about growing your relationship. You can read a lot of books about marriage. You are not required to apply all of them. You just have to pick bits and pieces of knowledge that you feel will be good for your marriage.
You should also seek help and guidance from people who have been married for years. They have knowledge and experience in dealing with different sorts of issues and problems. Talk to couples that you look up to and be mentored in how to handle your relationship as husband and wife.
4.Marriage means supporting each other.
You don’t lose your individuality when you enter into marriage. You still have your own identity as a person with career goals, hobbies, interests, issues, and different aspirations.
As a spouse, you do not withhold someone from their dreams. Instead, you motivate him to become the best version of himself. You become the most excellent supporter, the loudest cheerer, the most enthusiastic partner, the comforter, the best friend, and most of all, the husband or wife that you are meant to be.
What if some of his dreams conflict with yours? An example would be a career path that you both want to chase. If this is the case, you should reach a resolution. Both of you should sit down and talk deeply about your next steps.
Make sure to have an open mind and listen to what your spouse has to say. Do not think of ways to attack him, but instead find a direction where you both will be satisfied. There will always be a way for a couple to reach a decision where both will be happy with the outcome.
Marriage is a combination of fun, joy, excitement, thrill, obligation, worthiness, surprises, worry, sadness, thrill, dependence, individuality, connectedness, care, selflessness, adventure, solemnity, exploration, and so much more.
Yes, marriage is the bond between two people. With every promise that is made, responsibility exists. With every vow you make, actions are required. Be as accountable and as deliberate as you can in marriage. Grow your relationship, express the love that you have, and take responsibility for everything that ensues in it.