People marry for different reasons. Some marry for love, others for money. But why do more and more people choose to be legally and spiritually bonded to another person because of money?
Just to be clear, we should not marry someone just because of money. It is wrong and unfair to the other person. But in a practical world where resources are limited for most people, money is indeed one of the major factors that can positively or negatively affect the direction of the relationship.
Several Things You Should Consider
Do you believe that opposites attract? Some say that in love and marriage, opposites do attract each other. And it is the same with money.
A person who does not have money is attracted to a person who does. This may sound like a gold digger who is looking for someone to suck out dry, but it is more realistic than you know.
People who love spending money are practically attracted to people who love saving money. It is not because of the money that attracted these people to each other, but rather a natural connection to each other. This connection may be contrasting and opposite, but it does work well with some.
It can also be healthy for both people to be married to each other. The spender, living alone, would be very difficult. Even if the spender works, the expenses can pile up. Work will be longer to save up for travels, vacations, electronics, and other products. It will also take the spender more time to keep the money for retirement.
On the other edge of the scale is the money saver. Yes, he has a lot of money even if he is young. But if he does not spend money on himself because he is afraid of losing any of it, this condition is also unhealthy. He will not get any budget for breaks from his burnouts. He will not spend enough of his money on eating nutritious food. And he may be losing more from life because of his money-saving habit.
But with the right combination of the money spender and money saver, they can lessen each other’s habits and reach a reasonable compromise. They will discuss what works and what does not. The money spender will recommend items that the money saver needs. And on the contrary, the money saver can hold off or postpone some of the spending and stick to their approved financing structure.
Disney movies of old always say that the princess and her prince lived happily ever after. They would sail, walk, or ride in a carriage as they stroll toward the sunset.
People want to live happily ever after. This is why we look for people who would satisfy this craving for this kind of life.
For some, their definition of happily ever after is to be married to a tall and handsome guy, so they reject those people who do not pass their standards. For those whose looks go above and beyond her set criteria, she gives an opportunity to woo and pursue her.
Others establish money as the source of their “happily ever after” kind of life. They recognize the need for money in relationships to make the marriage work.
Sensibly, this is true. We cannot live a happy life without money. It is your spending capacity that will enable both of you to reach your dreams and aspirations. Do you want a shelter for your family’s protection? You have to have some money to get a house. Do you want to build memories and bond with each other? You need to get money to purchase airline tickets and hotel reservations.
Do you want to keep each other healthy? You will have to keep some money and reserve it to pay for fruits, for vegetables, for health insurance, emergency funds, and others.
Taking care of your spouse involves money whether we admit it or not. It may not sound sweet and loving at first. But to make your relationship last long, literally and figuratively, you must have money to spend. It is one of the factors that will lead you to a life that can rightfully be described as lived happily ever after.
Divorcees are More Practical in Their Choices.
Divorcees who get married two or more times become more practical with every marriage that they say yes to. They see money as a crucial source of making the marriage work.
Financially able people are very attractive because their lives are stable. They make life look easy. Financially able people may also have mature thinking about the concept of marriage. So those who have been in and out of a marriage often seek love combined with stability in financial matters.
Most men and women in their first marriage are afraid to ask about the current financial status of their future spouses. They are scared of being seen as someone who only looks at money.
But because of past experiences, or lack thereof, divorcees would make sure to ask the capability of a person to manage money. This goes both ways. Men and women want to be with someone who is not in a lot of debt. A person with financial stability proves a major point in their ability to take good care of money.
Marriage is Not Just Based on Emotions.
Love-struck people often decide senselessly and impulsively. They do not go over something two or more times before making the final decision. This is why it is called falling in love. It is an uncontrollable fall into a deep emotion that causes your brain and your hormone to become irrational at times.
People who approach marriage in a balanced way will also look at the money before entering one. Marriage is not just purely based on emotions. You cannot feed your spouse with just love. You cannot be protected from the weathers of a season with feelings.
For a marriage to thrive, the primary needs of an individual must be met. Clean water, food, nutrition, and shelter can only be provided to your family if you have the resources to use. To buy a home, food, water, and other stuff for your spouse, a married couple should have money to spend and to keep for future plans. They should be financially able to give a direction to the path that they want to take as a couple.
No one would want to enter marriage and gain more than a husband or a wife. Obtaining debt of your spouse is not a pleasant situation to be in. A marriage should be a fresh start for a couple. Going into a new level of relationship with no money would be very tough.
MagnifyMoney conducted a survey of 500 US adults to find out the reason for their divorce. A big chunk of the respondents (21 percent) said that money was the main cause of their divorce. Specifically, the percentage rises as the family salary increases.
Of those who earn $50,000 to $99,999, 25 percent cited money as the reason. For those who make more money, 33 percent of them mentioned the same cause of their divorce.
In another survey conducted by the National Endowment for Financial Education, 41 percent of the respondents admitted to committing financial deceptions because they are afraid or embarrassed that their partner would disapprove.
Statistics have proven time and time again that money, if not discussed, can be a real source of stress and dysfunction in the family. Many people realize this situation and would want to avoid it. To eliminate the surprise of money loss or debt, they choose to prioritize money over anything else.
Thinking about money before marriage is not a wrong thing. The concept of discussing money before marriage is a no-no for some because it involves the judgment that coincides with questions about financial capability.
But to guarantee that your relationship will flourish and last forever, you will need to cover all the basic needs of the family. And money takes the priority on these situations. Choosing to marry for money is a decision that is ultimately dictated by experience, by practical and logical thinking, and by the general need of a relationship to fulfill essential necessities.