Is it really possible to be happily married? In a study conducted by Pew Research Center, more than 40 percent of married couples said that they were happy. And chances are, you know at least one married couple who are both finding joy in their marriage.
The best tips that you can get about marriage are from those people who actually experience happiness and satisfaction in their relationship. The marriages of these couples are far from perfect yet they found ways to enjoy and be contented with the person who is beside them day in and day out.
Let’s sit down and be amazed at the tips and advice of happy couples on different issues concerning married life:
Never Forget to Fall in Love with Each Other Every Day.
Benny and Anne Boyle, married for 18 years
Benny: When I proposed to Anne, I knew that I am the happiest man in the world because I am marrying the woman of my dreams. She is beautiful both inside and out. And I knew that she loves kids even before we were married because she was the one who was always taking care of her nephews and nieces.
And so, I am convinced that I will not let this woman go away. The 18 years was not smooth-sailing, just to say the least. We had our own fair share of bumps along the way. The one thing that I always tell myself is to find the one thing that makes me fall in love with her and it really helps. No matter how small it is, I always look for that quality or object to trigger that love that I have for her.
Anne: At first, when I get angry with him, I was always walking out. But then, I see him with that calm demeanor even when we argue. I asked him the reason why he is like that. And then he told me about what he does. I adapted this habit. From then on, life feels a lighter and happier even when there are misunderstandings.
Always Look at Conflicts as Something that You Both Caused.
David and Carol Barlow, married for 10 years
David: To be honest, the first five years of our marriage was great. Carol was loving, sensitive to my emotions, and very caring. And then, out of nowhere, I found out that she had an affair. I was so devastated about what happened. I was so angry with her. The good thing was, my parents talked me into staying with her until we figure things out.
We sat down. I asked her what happened. She knew it was wrong to have an affair. But she also said that I did not have enough time for her. When she told me that reason, I became more furious. She does not have any right to cheat on me because I am working overtime to earn for the family.
But then, with the help of my dad, I saw that part of the infidelity was my fault. I honestly did not spend time with her. I was always on business trips. So I accepted my share of the responsibility and asked forgiveness for it. After months of recuperating from the affair, our marriage has grown stronger.
Carol: Admitting the affair was the most difficult thing that I did in my married life. I promised to myself that, if ever David forgives me, I will do everything I can to make it up for it. But I was shocked that he said sorry for not giving me time to bond and be more connected to each other. After that event, our relationship became more mature. We are also happier than ever.
Find a Way to Surprise Your Spouse.
Edward and Sharon Gilliam, married for 7 years
Edward: Ever since I was a kid, I always loved surprises. And I brought this habit of mine when I got married. Most husbands would surprise their wives on their anniversary. But not me. I try to surprise Sharon at the oddest possible days and times.
One time, when came home from Yoga class, I surprised her by filling our apartment with balloons! It was not our anniversary and it definitely was not her birthday yet. I just like to make our marriage more exciting by surprising her every time.
Sharon: I knew that Edward likes surprises a lot. He was always bragging about the numerous times he surprised his brothers and his parents. I was not very particular of preparing elaborate plans just to surprise somebody. But I love Ed. On our first year of marriage, I found it very difficult to think of a plan to shock him. But then, surprising him became a habit. Our marriage is fun!
Always Have Time to Listen.
Donald and Sarah Levine, married for 12 years
Donald: I thought that the only role of a husband is to earn money for the family. And for the longest time, I treated my marriage more of a business transaction. Don’t get me wrong. I love my wife. But I just did not give her the time that she deserves as my spouse.
Then, one day, we were invited to attend a marriage seminar that was arranged by my company. I never liked seminars but since it is a company event, I felt the need to attend. The speaker said that one of the husband’s responsibility is to save at least three hours for your wife just to talk, catch up, and check on her.
I thought to myself that it wouldn’t hurt to try it. And voila, our marriage changed a lot for the better. We became more intimate. Both physical and emotional intimacy increased. We promised each other that we will always give time to one another.
Sarah: I grew up in a conservative family where the husband has full authority over the family. And I saw Donald as someone who was like my father. He acted like my father, who constantly worked from morning until night. We never really talked nor dated after getting married.
I accepted it as the norm but somehow, I still felt dissatisfied. Fortunately, a seminar was held in his company. It taught us about making sure to spend the time to talk to Donald every day to build our marriage. Since then, after going home and tucking the kids to bed, we will enjoy a nice drink of coffee or milk, and be eager to know how the day was for both of you.
Make Sure that You Always Look Good for Your Spouse.
Mark and Amy Sharpe, married for 14 years
Mark: I was always taught in my household to check my appearance every time I go out. It is not that I needed to present and perform for the public. But my mum said that the way I look can say a lot about how I am being raised inside the home.
Even when I got married, my mindset is to always fix my appearance. And I always exercise and check my health. I watch what I eat and make sure that my diet completes my daily nutrients that my body needs. At the end of the day, I want to look good so that my wife can appreciate me more. I want to always be physically attractive for her.
Amy: One of my faults, when I got married, is that I let myself go. I ate what I want and never saw myself as someone who needs to take care of my body. I felt that I had no need to please anyone because I was already married. But then, one of my friends advised me that I should look good for my spouse.
I asked her why. She said that men are stimulated visually. I need to make an effort to look good for him because he is biologically created this way. As his wife, I knew that it was my responsibility to take care of myself. I also thought that if I don’t look out for my health, I will be a burden to my husband and my kids.
Marriage is a covenant made between a man and a woman. Two people make a choice to be with each other because they find no other reason to live their lives without the other.
It is not only the number of travels and wealth that you accumulate that can make you both happy. Enduring problems, adjusting to your spouse’s personality, and loving your new life as two in union will bring you closer and make you happier as a couple.