We always imagined ourselves to be with the person whom we love for the rest of our lives in marriage. To be with them should feel like heaven. Is this possible? Can you really have a relationship that will bring you lasting happiness?
Yes. I will say that it is possible to turn your relationship into a heavenly marriage. But you need to have these qualities first in order to achieve it:
You will need to summon all the patience you can get at the start of your marriage. You will have a lot of adjustments at first. But the more time you spend with your spouse, the easier it will be to adapt to your partner’s qualities and behavior.
It was Piers Plowman who said that patience is a virtue, and it truly is! Not everyone has the patience to keep up with someone other than their own self. But if you love a person and are aiming for a heavenly relationship, you will be able to endure any problems and have sufficient patience for your spouse every day.
You should know by now that your spouse is not perfect. If he has not shown you his worst, eventually you will see it firsthand. Should you be scared? Not at all! You should not only accept your partner’s inadequacies, but embrace them.
His imperfections will make your marriage fun, colorful, and exciting. The happiness in your relationship will not depend on how faultless your husband or wife is. It is how you both handle conflicts and maintain the love despite those disagreements.
To turn your relationship into a marriage made in heaven, you should give your full appreciation to your spouse. You must be very attracted to your husband or wife and be consistent with it. Attractiveness is less about the physicality and more about the emotional connectedness.
According to Oprah.com, there are five elements of attractiveness. The first one is physical features. You must be attracted to him physically to ensure that you love what you are seeing. The second is the smell. You should love his smell. You should desire him whether he is wearing perfume or not. Adaptability with regard to the sense of smell is an important part of your attractiveness to each other.
Voice is also important. You must appreciate your spouse by speaking good things to him and about him. The next is financial stability. If you are secure in your expenses and needs, there is a stable foundation for attractiveness. The last is kissing. You must enjoy your kissing to be enticed by your spouse.
The characteristics stated above are the top three that you should explore and have in order to attain a marriage in heaven. Now, here are practical steps that you can take to achieve the marriage that you dream of:
Marriage in Heaven:How to Transform Your Relationship into It
1.Talk to your husband or wife every day.
Do not underestimate the power of communication. The problem that some couples who have been married for a long time experience is that their emotional distances become wider and the talks become shorter.
You should make an effort to reach out to your spouse every day to talk. I don’t just mean your normal conversations where you ask your daily routines, food to eat, and the time he will come home. This is more of the intimate and relational talks that couples have.
You should ask how his day was. You should dig deep into his thoughts. You are his partner in life. You love each other very much. If he is to open up to someone, it must be to you and not somebody else.
If he is the type who does not show his emotions much, the way to go around this is by starting the conversation and volunteering details about what happened to you, the emotions you are currently having, the stress that you are going through, or the dreams that you would like to reach.
2.Be ready to compromise.
Marriage is not all about you. And it’s not all about him either. You are now one unit. You should both be able to compromise. As much as possible, you must accommodate the needs of your spouse.
Some of the things that you will have to agree on are quality time spent, finances for your hobbies and interests, work locations, business trips, vacations, and kid-related issues.
Compromise does not mean always giving in to what your spouse wants. It means having a healthy discussion on the pros and cons of what you like and what he likes. You listen intently to what each other is saying. Then, you both decide based on the benefits and the disadvantages.
3.Do not keep score.
Your relationship is not a competition wherein you keep a tally of who does better in your marriage. You must be complementary to each other. Your weaknesses should be covered by your partner’s strengths, and your strengths, in turn, must balance his flaws.
Practice this from the start of your marriage. By not knowing who did what and how many times someone helped the other, you will gain more freedom to do great things for each other without having the burden of keeping up and keeping score.
4.You are not the boss of your spouse.
We, women, often think of ourselves as the queens of the house. Well, in a way, we are, because we are the second leader of the family. But you are not the boss of your spouse. The same goes for husbands who are the sole provider of the home.
Know your responsibilities in your family. You should pull your own weight in whatever role you play. If you work, make sure to allow yourself to help in the household chores. If you stay at home, do your best to provide a peaceful and stress-free environment for your spouse.
5.Be physically intimate with each other.
Physical affection is one of the most-liked ways of showing love to your spouse. Be intentional when you do this. This comes naturally for most women. You can give a hug or kiss for no reason at all.
For men, you should remember that not all physical affection should lead to sex. Sometimes, your wife just needs your loving warmth. Kiss her on the forehead and hug her while she is cooking. Help her when she gets out of the car. Hold her hand when you walk. Physical intimacy is important and a must in a relationship.
6.Trust your spouse.
Being married does not mean being locked up with someone. You still have the freedom that you had when you were single, but with restrictions. Anything that will affect your relationship should, of course, be prevented. But you should still pursue careers, dreams, and interests as long as you are not hurting your marriage.
Learn to trust your spouse whether he is at home, at work, or enjoying his hobbies. Have faith in him. Controlling his actions and his schedule would not do you any better. Instead, let him think on his own. Trust his decisions.
7.Maintain a set of values.
You must establish your shared set of values as early as possible. This is not only for you, but for your future kids as well. The values that your family has will dictate how they behave and act in certain situations.
The values inside the house build character. They will overflow into your work, your decisions, and most of all, your relationship. Discuss this with your spouse and identify the ones that you should both instill in your hearts and minds. Marriage will be long lasting as long as you keep your values.
8.Know your priorities.
What is more important? Career or spouse? Which one should you choose? Hiking with your friends or spending the day with your partner?
Great job if you answered the name of your spouse to those questions. Your husband or wife should be your utmost priority. When you have to choose, know that the right answer will always be your spouse.
Wouldn’t you want to spend time with the most important person in the world to you? Isn’t it great that you are going to be with someone that you love and will love you back?
By thinking this way, you will make your decisions easier. Make your spouse your priority.
A marriage in heaven is not a place wherein couples make no mistakes, have no ill behaviors, or do not have arguments. Relationships with those characteristics are unrealistic, pretentious, and unhealthy.
When we aim for true contentment and happiness in marriage, we talk about having open communication, gratefulness for your spouse, and total acceptance.
It is all about continuously working at your marriage. And do not forget to enjoy every minute of it. This is a true marriage in heaven.