Perhaps most of us have struggled with keeping love fresh, especially years after walking down the aisle. The dynamics of a relationship apparently shift after being together for a long time.
In fact, studies suggest that relationship satisfaction gradually deteriorates during a couple’s first eight years in marriage.
What’s more interesting is that couples who had children during the said period presented sudden deterioration in their relationship satisfaction. The changes actually varied from small to medium in size, and most of them didn’t resolve throughout the course of the study.
Well, the findings just revealed what real marriage is like when the wedding bells have rung and the honeymoon phase is over. You should realize that to some degree, we all will struggle with staying in love after marriage.
But don’t be too hard on yourself. As mentioned, it’s quite a natural phenomenon in a couple’s life to feel the “spark” decline following marriage. What you need to focus on is how to remain in love and keep the passion burning after tying the knot.
Here’s What You Can Do to Stay in Love After Marriage.
1.Invest time and effort.
A lasting marriage requires time and effort.
Busy is the word of today’s urban society. It seems that rushing from one activity to another task is an everyday game—and it is marriage that suffers the consequences of this way of living.
Generally, marriage takes a backseat to the demands of one’s career and hobbies. Working late and allocating more hours for other activities compromises the time that couples should be spending together.
When this continues, the romantic connection is doomed to crumble and everything else in the relationship may follow. Obviously, time is an important element in the security of a successful marriage.
Thus,if you notice that the connection between you and your spouse is slowly diminishing, then you must check your watch. Maybe it’s time to go home.
And if you think that you really don’t have much time to spare for your marriage, then put more effort into finding it! Find the time your spouse deserves. How can you do it?
You must learn how to enumerate your priorities properly. If in any case you don’t know it yet, the husband or the wife should be the top priority. Yes, your spouse comes first before anything else.
Maybe we are all blinded by the societal pressure that we can have the best of everything if we just work hard for it. Well, the cold truth is that no one can have it all.
So relax, take a break and set your priorities straight. You have a marriage to work on.
Make your time count. Go out on dates. Put more effort into making your spouse happy. Spending quality time together is essential to keeping the both of you connected, leading to a more satisfying and happier marriage.
Communication holds a vital key to marriage success.
As it appears, marriage finds difficulty thriving in a relationship that lacks communication. Without it, the couple’s minds and hearts can’t come together.
Therefore, if you want love to stay after marriage, improve your communication, not just verbally but also physically.
Be open. Communicate your feelings through gentle words and tender actions.
Discover the power of proper timing. If you need to discuss important matters, try not to rush it if your partner isn’t ready yet. Don’t push it and wait until the next morning. Most probably, your spouse will be more clear-headed by then.
We know that maintaining a healthy level of communication between spouses in a long-term marriage doesn’t come flawlessly. There will be challenges, of course, such as lack of time as we mentioned above. But if you want to keep love after marriage, then you need to put more effort into nourishing it.
How much fighting is too much for couples?
Arguments are absolutely standard in all relationships. In fact, a survey revealed that the average frequency of couple arguments is 19 times in a month. That’s almost a month’s worth of daily fights!
But no matter the number of fights you have per month, you must let forgiveness flow freely in your marriage. Always.
Forgiveness saves your marriage from tension and hate. Evidently, holding grudges is a relationship’s silent killer. The more you hold on to anger, the more the bitterness sets a camp inside your heart.
Although in some situations you’ll feel that you’ve had enough, choose to forgive. You are doing it for yourself and not for your spouse. Besides, your partner might be doing it for you too.
Once both your hearts are freed from anger and resentment, only then can you better communicate your feelings. Healing should follow.
Don’t forget that it takes two forgivers in a successful marriage. Do your part in letting go of the hatred in your heart and pray that your partner does the same. This is how you diffuse hate and let love stay after marriage.
4.Keep having sex.
Admit it or not, the quality and quantity of sex in your marriage have a huge impact on how you view your relationship.
Sex is predominantly considered a key to satisfying married life. Several studies have actually shed light on why sexual activities between couples facilitate pair-bonding. And it is found that the after-effects of sex are what is actually causing partners to feel bonded after the deed.
This so-called “sexual afterglow” purportedly lasts up to two days. Additionally, couples reported elevated levels of marital satisfaction several months after experiencing a stronger “sexual afterglow.” What does this tell us?
The result showed us a clear evidence that sexual satisfaction plays an important role in a long-term marriage satisfaction.
You don’t necessarily have to have sex with your spouse everyday. You can if you’d like to. But the study confirmed that the benefits to the pair-bonding you get after each sexual encounter can last you 48 hours.
You can choose to rest from sexual intercourse on days you both are tired. However, what you have to make sure of is to do it as often as you need and want it.
Also, married individuals must pay attention to their spouse’s sexual needs in order to deliver their sexual satisfaction. As mentioned, those who experienced stronger “sexual afterglow” displayed an increase in marital satisfaction.
Doing the deed is not the sole key to sexual fulfillment. It’s how you do the deed that creates a profound impact on your sexual and marital satisfaction.
Having said all these, we strongly believe that maintaining a healthy level of sex can help couples stay in love after marriage. The “sexual afterglow” is a magical and powerful force that keeps two people intimate and connected. All couples should take advantage of it. Don’t you think so?
Staying in love after marriage requires intentional work. It’s never easy.
See, when all wrongs have been said and done, you have to pull yourself out of hatred and forgive. When you’ve seen all the good and the bad, you need to love your spouse more and win life together. And when you’ve witnessed all the ugly, you must decide to stay.
These things are always easier said than done.
But keep in mind that a successful marriage is not merely about two people who are smitten with each other. Or two individuals who believe that they are in love. Marriage success needs more than that.
Marriage requires two people who truly love each other and are committed to loving each other. It requires falling in love many times, and choosing to love over and over again.