I want a divorce—this can be the most devastating statement that you will hear from your husband. If he wants to part ways with you, what can you do? Should you just give up and let the process of divorce be over and done with? Or must you fight for your marriage to save it?
Marriage is a vow of everlasting love between a man and a woman. It is designed to provide a safe haven for a husband and a wife so that they can develop a relationship with each other. I, for one, believe that you should exhaust all efforts before letting your husband go. You should not just give up instantly on your marriage.
Here Are Some Ways on How to Deal With Situations When Your Husband Wants a Divorce:
1.Don’t go overboard with your emotions.
It truly hurts to have a spouse that wants a divorce. You can cry your emotions out when you are alone. However, you should not show your husband signs that you are weak in the relationship. Do not beg, plead or demand anything from him. It will only give him more reasons to let you go.
Just keep a calm demeanor and show that you are still strong despite the situation. This behavior can change his mind just by proving your strength and worth.
2.Maintain your appearance.
Most wives would just give up entirely and let themselves go after knowing that their husbands want a divorce. You should not do that. Instead, you must still fix your hair, dress in nice clothes, and keep yourself looking good and clean. Do not let this circumstance prevent you from having a great appearance. This may also persuade him to stop filing for divorce.
3.Know the real reason.
You should sincerely talk to your husband and understand the real deal behind his decision to divorce you. What is wrong with the relationship? Did you do or say something consistently that made him decide to leave you? Or did he just have a change of heart?
Knowing the reason will help you determine the next steps that you will undergo. If it is you that caused the strife in the marriage, you can ask him the changes that he wants you to make to help you fix the relationship.
If it is an affair, it will be more difficult. There is another person involved. If you love your husband, you should still fight for your marriage. According to the book Surviving an Affair by Dr. Willard Harley, you should just wait for affairs to die a natural death. It may take months or even years for extramarital affairs to die naturally. You should patiently wait if you want to keep your marriage.
4.Keep the respect.
You should still respect your husband when you are in front of him. He is still your husband, after all. Don’t have a shouting match with him. Don’t call him names or curse him for wanting to opt out of your marriage. You should respect him at all times.
You should be fully complete with or without your husband. If you had not realized this before you got married, you should know this now. You should confidently tell yourself that you can live your life with or without your husband.
Having said that, you should still pursue a life with your husband even if he decides to divorce you. When you got married, it was proof of your love for one another. Do everything that you can to maintain the marriage. But if he still leaves, have the confidence to see the future of living without him.
6.Keep yourself busy.
Thinking about your husband can distract you from doing anything productive in your life. You should refocus your life and turn your attention to things that matter. You can put in more hours at work, get a new hobby, or find new activities to fill up your time. Don’t let the situation make you idle. If you have a personal plan, you should stay on it no matter what happens with your husband’s decision.
7.Maintain open communication.
When your husband wants a divorce, chances are he will be leaving your house and staying somewhere else. Even if you do not want him to go, let him decide his own path of where he wants to live. But you should always be open if and when he wants to talk.
You will not know the next event that will come his way. He may realize one day that he was impulsive in his decision and wants to return to your marriage. He may have some questions that need answering. Or he just wants to talk to you about his concerns in the marriage. Whatever the reason, you should always have your lines open for him.
8.Do not get into arguments.
Some husbands will want to justify their decision by getting you angry and infuriated. Do not take the bait. Instead, be happy for the times when he wants to talk to you. Use these moments to get information on his next steps. You can also communicate what you are thinking with him.
You should ask him if he wants to first work things out in your marriage. If he gives your relationship a second chance, then you can get help from marriage counselors or therapists. These experts can give enlightenment to your situation and offer sound advice that you can heed and apply to your marriage.
If you have totally done all you can to fix your marriage and he still wants a divorce, then there is no other way but to proceed with the next steps.
1.Keep it real.
A divorce means that you will be dividing your assets. You will also have to talk about custody of your kids. The whole process can be stressful and tiresome. But you have to keep in mind that the result will have a major effect on your future. Be careful in your next steps so that this situation will have favorable results for you.
2.Look at the big picture.
You should maintain your lifestyle before, during, and after the divorce. You should not negotiate material things that you will not have use for. You should just move on with the process and finish it as soon as possible with minimal financial damage.
3.Consider a mediator.
Before going to court, you have easier and faster alternatives. You can get a mediator to negotiate the terms of your divorce. This is cheaper than court hearings. If you can talk about asset distribution and child custody in a good manner and in the presence of a mediator, you should consider this option.
This process is known as the collaborative law divorce. Both parties are open to discussing the terms and conditions of the divorce. They can negotiate and talk in a manner that they can both agree with.
Note that it takes both parties to be willing to undergo collaborative law divorce. If you or your husband do not want to be part of this process, then you should just move on to the next alternative.
4.Get a lawyer.
Whether you choose collaborative law divorce or litigation courts to settle your divorce, you will need a good lawyer to represent you. When looking for a divorce lawyer, you must consider different characteristics or attributes. He must have knowledge of the process of divorce. He must have the experience to back up his skills. He should also be an expert on the local state policies in order for you to maximize the benefits of the law.
You can look online for the best lawyers available. You can also ask your friends or family for any recommendations. But you should remember that divorce lawyers do not come cheap. Be ready to spend serious money.
Marriages should always be worked out by the couple. No marriage is perfect. It will undergo storms whether you like it or not. But it is the way you weather it that matters. As a loving wife, you should keep calm and do your best to win back your husband. Do everything that you can to restore the marriage.
If push comes to shove and your husband still wants a divorce, then you should have the confidence to move on to the next step of the divorce process and maintain your composure. Your husband is a great companion for you. But if he decides to leave you, it should not dictate the way you look at yourself and the way you live your life.