Romance in married couples usually wears off, especially after their honeymoon stage. Busy work schedule, loss of trust, and negative senses of self are just some of the reasons that can explain romantic disengagement in marriage.
But there’s really nothing to worry about because pitfalls and bumpy roads are parts of the marriage course. As long as the couples are willing to rekindle the fire in their relationship, they can work it out.
Here are 5 husband and wife romance tips that can better your marriage.
Have Fun Together
With all the mundane duties and pressure we face in our everyday lives, Mr. Fun and Ms. Excitement often get neglected. The result? Sadness, distress, anxiety, and sometimes pain. And if you let these stresses creep in, your marriage could be the first thing to suffer.
A study from the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that stress can undermine a couple’s relationship. On that account, it should be safe to say that leading a stressful life is detrimental to your marriage. This leads us to our first tip: have fun together.
Engaging in fun activities is what we see as a solid bullet to kill stress. Apparently, couples who spend the time to play together are more likely to stay together.
The idea is actually supported by research from the University of Denver, which found that “the correlation between fun and marital happiness is high and significant.” Howard Markman, the psychologist who co-directs the university’s Center for Marital and Family Studies, exemplified this finding and remarked that “the more you invest in fun and friendship and being there for your partner, the happier the relationship will get over time.”
Though having fun doesn’t really sound romantic—because couples typically match the word romance with passion, kissing, hugging, foreplay, and sex—it is a crucial factor in romancing your wife or husband. The reason is simple.
You can’t rekindle love without happiness.
Have A Bite of Nostalgia
A trip down the memory lane enhances the bond between couples who have forgotten how sweet it is to be loved by their spouse. Start with a photo album or DVDs and remember the times when your relationship was worry-free and full of bliss. It should help the both of you reminisce on the good times you spent together and the love you felt for each other back then.
Why is this a good practice? Nostalgia, according to a study conducted by the University of Southampton researchers, proved to be beneficial in keeping the emotional closeness we have with people around us.
If you are trapped in a troublesome marriage, you need a bite of this nostalgia to wake up from the drowning sadness and discontentment in your relationship. It should remind you that the spouse you vowed to live with until your dying breath is a wonderful person you’ve loved since many years ago.
You need this powerful force to re-bond your heart and mind to be emotionally attached once again. On that note, why don’t you have those scrapbooks ready tonight and ask your spouse to sit with you on the couch as you review your fondest memories together?
Have A List of Romantic Ideas to Try Every Day
The art of rekindling a troubled marriage also lies in your creativity and uniqueness. Perhaps you think that the old-fashioned love letters won’t do the trick in an era of technological advancements. Or maybe you’re having doubts that dedicating a song to him/her would make him/her feel loved anymore.
But maybe you’re wrong. It is highly likely that these simple, outdated ways of showing love for your spouse are what would make him/her feel special. And who knows? These could be the uncovered secrets to reviving the fire in your marriage.
If writing love notes is not your thing, maybe you can put down that pen and paper and grab a pan and ladle, instead. Whip up your lover’s favorite dish and drizzle it with love.
Perhaps you can bond with your partner in the kitchen and prepare your favorite meal together. In case you missed it, a survey said that 70 percent of couples who cook together are more likely to be satisfied in their relationships than those who don’t.
The only point here is to make sure that you find ways to be romantic every day. Whether it’s a simple note on your husband’s coffee or a beautiful flower delivered to your wife’s office, you must constantly perform simple acts of love. It should help keep the love alive and preserve your relationship.
Have Date Nights
Researchers in the UK found that married couples benefit from occasional date nights. We couldn’t agree more.
These days, when almost everybody is bombarded with a long list of tasks at work, couples hardly have enough time to squeeze in date nights. But you have to know that dating your spouse is critical in marriage. You both deserve this much-needed time to appreciate each other without the stresses of work and family.
Date nights foster intimacy. Intimate talks, intimate bonding—stuff you can only do when you two are alone.
In fact, it is during date nights when couples have the opportunity to communicate their plans and feelings. Consequently, it relieves stress, tension, and misunderstandings in relationships.
Dating also strengthens commitment between couples. Being committed in a marriage isn’t just about loving your spouse. It is also about showing and nurturing that love. Spending time and making extra efforts to date the person you love is a clear proof of your commitment.
Have Sex—and More and More of It
How often do married couples need to have sex? Marriage therapists have no definite answer to this. But what we know is, couples need to do it often.
If we dig deeper into the science-y explanation for why sex is important in marriage, you’ll meet Mr. Oxytocin: the love hormone that’s thought to be responsible for relationship bonding.
Sex promotes the release of oxytocin. Apparently, studies found that people with high levels of oxytocin stay in their relationships longer. That is why this love hormone is believed to be beneficial in maintaining intimacy among married couples.
If this is considered, then all married couples should have sex and more of it, right? If oxytocin plays a role in keeping the bond of couples intact, then we have unlocked the secret to a long and lasting marriage, didn’t we?
Well, a couple doesn’t really need to be pressured to do the deed for a certain number of times per week. Experts apparently agree that sexy times vary from one couple to another, because the sex drive of each individual also differs.
What’s recommended is for couples to share their intimate thoughts about sex and how often they want to and can do it. As always, communication is the key to understanding your partner.
The point is that sex is important in marriage. We know it’s hard to still have sex after a long day’s work. However, you have to understand that it was part of your commitment when you dropped your “I Dos.”
And if you are on the verge of divorce, we honestly believe that sex can spice up your unsatisfying married life. Do it often and find ways to recharge your sex life. It might be the only pill you need to rekindle your love.