Pregnancy is some of the happiest news that the husband and wife will ever hear in their married life. This is especially true for couples who have been looking forward to having a child for a long time.
But even if pregnancy is along-awaited event, do you know that, if you’re not careful, it can still cause a strain on your relationship? People are more familiar with post-partum depression. According to this study published in BMC Public Health, pregnant women who reported that they were not content with their relationship were most likely to get depressed during their pregnancy.
The relationship between husband and wife should be strengthened by pregnancy, not deteriorated. The couple must exert all efforts to maintaining the stability of their relationship for the duration of this event.
The moment the News breaks out
Here’s what happens when the news of pregnancy is revealed:
For the wife, when you find out that you are having a baby, there is a range of emotions that simultaneously occurs inside your heart and mind. You are ecstatic because you are finally having your child. But the prospect of carrying a baby for nine months has you wondering about the changes that will happen in your body.
You can feel anxious and restless because the life of your little one will depend on what you do, where you go and what you eat. You suddenly become stressed about not knowing what will happen in this chapter of your life.
But the news still excites you. And you want to share this special moment with your husband. You think of ways to reveal the pregnancy to him. You watch a lot of videos of husbands reacting to the announcement. And you finally do it…
When the husband hears of the pregnancy, a lot of things also happen in his mind. Of course, he is happy. Your future child and you mean the world to him. He is thrilled to have an addition to the family.
But along with the happy emotions, he is also thinking about the financial pressures and adjustments that he has to make. All the calculations are already going on in his mind.
He also feels nervous about your new season as husband and wife. He doesn’t know what his next step should be—and this is especially true for first-time fathers. But in the end, he is generally delighted that he is going to be a dad.
Why is it important to exert more effort in maintaining your relationship during pregnancy?
Amidst all of the gladness that you both have when you find out that you are having a baby, both you and your spouse will be experiencing a roller coaster of emotions during the length of the pregnancy.
For the wife, first of all, hormones will affect you physically and emotionally. You will be carrying a baby for nine months and your body needs to adapt. You will eat a lot more food to feed your child. There will be movements inside you to accommodate the size of the baby throughout the nine months, and you will be producing membranes and tissues to ensure that the child that is within you is protected and well taken care of.
But at the same time, emotions will vary from time to time. According to Dr. Mary Kimmel, medical director of the Perinatal Psychiatry Inpatient Unit, a woman’s life can contain a mix of emotions because of pregnancy. At the biological level, hormones are building up. These may cause your emotions to also ramp up.
Some of the common emotions that a woman undergoes during pregnancy are mood swings, crabbiness, fear of miscarriage, fear of being in labor for too long, anxiety of not knowing what will happen next, mental lapses that can cause irritability, weepiness because of unknown reasons, and body image issues.
These emotions cannot be contained during pregnancy. Because of the hormones and the different things that are happening inside her body, emotions can run wild during these times. If a woman does not have a husband who is there to assure her that everything is going to be alright, then she may become distant and eventually hurt their relationship.
The husband, on the other hand, is now facing the pressures of making ends meet during pregnancy. He is anticipating the money allotment for baby stuff like baby furniture, milk, clothes, and medicines. He is also considering the future of the family putting money on the education of the child.
The foresight of things to come can either motivate the husband to work more for the family, or cause him to become aloof about the situation and distance himself from his wife. The danger of not having a supportive and sensitive wife during pregnancy can cause both of them to emotionally hurt each other and put a dent in their relationship.
Four Ways to Keep Husband and Wife Relationship During Pregnancy
1.You can modify the usual routine that you had when you were still just two members of the family.
You need to face the truth that your lives will never be the same after pregnancy. But it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You will now be having a child who will love you for the rest of your lives. Isn’t that a wonder?
You need to make changes in your routine. Instead of sulking about the things that you can no longer do during pregnancy, the couple should adjust to each other’s needs. Communication is key. Instead of doing personal activities like hitting the gym or golfing, you should instead spend more time being connected to each other. You can have a couples massage, visit a relaxing spa, or eat at restaurants more frequently to enjoy each other’s company.
2.You need to take time to talk.
You should take sufficient time to talk. One way to get around all the changes and problems that are going on in your life as husband and wife is to talk about it. If the wife feels the pressures of carrying a child, she should tell her husband. If the husband feels that he is so out of his comfort zone during pregnancy, he needs to tell his wife.
A heavy situation can sometimes be easily diffused once you start talking about it. Be open to your emotions and ask your spouse for his or her support.
3.You should focus on your partner.
This should go both ways. Even if most of the changes happen on the wife’s side, it does not give her the license to do whatever she wants and not care about her husband anymore. Both of you know the hardships of pregnancy on women, but men also undergo changes and problems.
The husband must make his wife’s life as comfortable as possible. The changes in the wife can physically and emotionally drain her. He does not need to add to what his wife is feeling right now. He needs to support his wife all the way.
If you are the wife, don’t be a burden to your husband. He understands that you will be in a lot of pain for months. But pregnancy does not allow you to talk down to him, manipulate him, or take advantage of the situation. You should also be sensitive to his needs and accommodate him as much as possible.
4.Maintain the intimacy
Pregnancy should not stop you from being intimate with one another. Intimacy has two types: physical and emotional. You should stay connected to each other physically. Do what you can to keep the intensity in your marriage even during pregnancy.
But emotional intimacy is much more important. Do not let your relationship as husband and wife suffer because of this season in your life. Talk to your spouse. Stay close to each other and keep the emotional connection strong.
Marriage is tested by a lot of trials and obstacles. Even during pregnancy, your relationship will be challenged by the financial concerns, physical strains, and emotional breakouts. Your connection with each other is also going to be twisted, stretched and wrenched.
Both of you will need to hang on until all of these subside. You have to constantly remind yourselves that you love each other, that you want to be together, and that your care for one another can conquer anything that lies in your way. Make the blessing of a new child an inspiration for both of you in your relationship as husband and wife.