How well do you know your spouse?
In case you missed it, a study revealed that the confidence and accuracy of couples when it comes to knowing their spouse are dissociated—meaning that people don’t know their spouse too well even if they thought they did!
Just because you think you are very well aware of your spouse’s preferences, history, and activities doesn’t mean you’ll get them right. Ironically, there’s a lot more we need to learn from our life partners even if we live with them every single day.
Well, if you’re not buying what this research says, then you better get a score sheet and answer these 75 questions that should tell how well you know your spouse. Are you up for the challenge? Let’s start!
- Who’s your spouse’s favorite person?
- What’s the worst trouble he/she got into in college?
- What fuels his/her temper?
- What is his/her fondest memory?
- Name 3 places your spouse would love to visit again.
- Does he/she prefer camping or fishing?
- Does he/she like pets?
- How old was he/she when he/she had his first kiss?
- What’s your spouse’s favorite body part?
- What’s his/her biggest ambition he/she didn’t achieve?
- Give all the nicknames of your spouse as a child?
- Of all his/her nicknames, what was his/her favorite?
- (follow up question from number 12) And what did he/she hate the most?
- Does your spouse have a favorite aunt? Who is she?
- How about a favorite uncle? Can you name him?
- What’s your spouse’s biggest talent?
- Is there a skill your spouse wants to learn?
- What’s his/her favorite perfume?
- Ice cream or cakes?
- Black or white?
- When sleeping, does he/she prefer lights on or lights off?
- What trait or mannerism does your spouse dislike in him/herself?
- What’s his/her least favorite part of his/her body?
- What’s his/her greatest fear?
- What’s his/her music genre?
- Which holiday excites your spouse the most?
- Name all his/her exes.
- Is your spouse friends with all of them?
- If no, who among his/her exes is he/she friends with?
- Is your partner an introvert, ambivert, or extrovert?
- What’s his/her favorite part of your body?
- Is your spouse okay with kissing in public?
- What’s his/her favorite Netflix show at the moment?
- Does he/she like books?
- Fiction or Nonfiction?
- What is one thing that your spouse would never tolerate in your marriage?
- What makes him/her weak?
- Where did you first meet?
- How many dates did it take before you two beganto fall in love with each other?
- Who fell in love with the other first?
- Who said the first “I love you?”
- Do you know how many men/women he/she dated before you?
- Did he/she have a long-term relationship with anyone?
- How long did it last?
- Does he/she like his/her current job?
- Cats or dogs?
- Pants or shorts?
- How does he/like his/her coffee? Black or creamy?
- Does he/she have a favorite author? Can you name it?
- Does he/she like “Lord of The Rings”?
- How about “Game of Thrones”?
- And “Harry Potter”?
- What’s his/her favorite movie?
- If he/she could have any profession, what would it be?
- If he/she could live anywhere, where would it be?
- Is he/she afraid of death?
- What are his/her phobias?
- What does he/she like to do during the weekend?
- Does he/she still watch cartoons?
- Reading or watching?
- Shower or baths?
- What’s his/her favorite animal?
- Does he/she like singing in the shower?
- How does he/she like you to cheer him/her up?
- Who is his/her closest friend?
- When he/she is sad, who does he/she go to aside from you?
- Where does he/she usually go when she feels lonely?
- Do you know any signs to tell if he/she is stressed?
- Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram?
- How many times does he/she brush his/her teeth?
- Do you know your spouse’s deepest secret?
- Does he/she like coffee or tea?
- Hamburger or pizza?
- What’s his/her favorite pizza toppings?
- Pepsi or Coke?
Why Is It Important to Know Your Spouse
The dating period may be behind you, but that’s not an excuse to stop discovering things about each other.
Life has lots of new surprises, twists, and opportunities to grow. Your spouse might be welcoming changes in his/her life while you remain comfortable in your zone or vice versa. This won’t be so much of a big deal if you both keep track of each other’s lives.
However, marriage takes a dangerous turn when couples stop learning about each other.
Look at it this way. If, for instance, you have realized that coffee does your body no good because of some health concerns and you stopped drinking coffee, would you want your spouse to serve you a cup in the morning?
Of course not. However, your husband/wife had no idea about this. So every morning, he/she still serves you hot coffee, and you just let it sit there until you leave the house.
Your spouse, on the other hand, might feel bad that you constantly leave your coffee untouched. But does he/she know about your decision not to drink coffee anymore?
This is just a simple situation that can create an unnecessary misunderstanding in your marriage. If things like this pile up, however, you’ll just be doomed to find yourself in a terrible argument. And such argument can lead to a full-blown fight that’s too difficult to resolve because you just lost track.
Which is why it is important to know your spouse and continue to update your knowledge about each other.
Changes are inevitable, and our feelings do change a lot. It is vital in every relationship to continually “check in” with our partners. You don’t want to be the last person to know what you spouse’s new endeavors are, do you?
So make sure to squeeze in some quality time to keep track of your spouse’s thoughts and feelings.
In case you haven’t noticed it yet, your work responsibilities, house chores, childcare, and many other commitments are taking a toll in your marriage. It’s natural, of course. We only have 24 hours in a day to perform all our duties and obligations.
But these should never hinder you from nurturing your marriage. Set your priorities and make time to communicate your thoughts and feelings with your spouse.
When you and your husband/wife were still dating, I am pretty sure you wanted to know him/her more, the same way you wanted him/her to know you. It was exciting and it brought a deep satisfaction that your thoughts were heard and acknowledged by the person you like, right? That feeling you had should not change after marriage.
Some couples lose the excitement and elation, not because it “just happens,” but because they let it happen. Marriage does take hard work, so if you don’t work for it, then you really have nothing to expect.
However, if you decide to polish your beautiful marriage, then chances are good that you’ll never be bored about each other for the rest of your life. People get bored when they are presented with the same things over and over.
And in marriage, yes, it’s possible that you get bored with the repeated routines you do with your spouse. But people change, and your husband/wife will change many times in the entire course of your marriage.
Take advantage of this by learning about his/her new thoughts and feelings. Then, make new routines until you both get bored again and again.
Life is a rollercoaster ride of changes and discoveries. It would be more fun to take this ride together with the person you love, wouldn’t it?