Marriage is more than just falling in love. It is being in love and choosing to love over and over again.
But unfortunately, not all married couples are tough enough to choose love when the situation gets rough. Apparently, keeping the love alive in the face of trials is easier said than done.
In fact, about 50 percent of couples who get married for the first time end up divorced.
If you ask what’s at the center of these troubled marriages, there’s actually a lot to name.
However, in this post, we aim to focus on a single element that we see lacking in failed relationships. We are talking about no other culprit than romance.
Romance, according to intimacy expert Dr. Gayle Friend, is the “act of giving and receiving affection.” It is what gives life to the butterflies in your stomach, and it is what brings excitement and mystery to a couple’s everyday life.
But in a long-term marriage, romance is seemingly disregarded—especially by partners who are slammed with lots of work. Does this make you feel guilty?
Well, if you’re a husband who’s conscience-stricken by this, fret not. You’re definitely on the right page!
Here’s How to Romance Your Wife in 6 Easy Steps.
1.Leave random sweet notes around the house.
In the age of digital communication, writing love notes is consequently taking a backseat. Most probably, you have sent your “I love you” messages through Facebook, Instagram, emails, text messages, and calls. But have you ever written a single letter of love for your wife throughout your entire relationship?
Maybe you think love notes are outdated, but this old-fashioned way of communicating sweet nothings is one easy step to rekindle love—simply because heartfelt written words are tangible proof and reminders of one’s real feelings.
So, if you have the need to rekindle your love and spark some romance in your marriage, purposefully handwriting a love note should be your first move. To make it more exciting and sweet, you can scribble it on Post-It notes and leave them in random places at home.
2.Tell her she’s beautiful and do it often.
Marriage and Family therapist Candice P. Cooper said: “Compliments are very important in a marriage because often times couples become complacent and take each other for granted.” This leads us to our next step to romancing your wife: appreciation of your spouse’s beauty.
I think it is already established that compliments boost one’s optimism and forge a stronger connection between couples. And one of the compliments women love to hear is that they are beautiful and loved.
That is why telling your wife she’s beautiful when it shows, and saying it often, is a sure strategy for making her feel valued and appreciated. It makes her realize her beauty and keeps her motivated to take better care of herself.
Don’t think, however, that compliments foster an increased satisfaction for your wife alone. Apparently, the act of complimenting creates a ripple effect.
The more she feels loved, the more she sees the beauty in all things and in you too.
Therefore, you may expect compliments coming your way as well!
3.Cook for her.
Our third step to romancing your wife is to find time to cook for her. They say the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and I believe the same can be said for women.
Women are usually the ones who do the work in the kitchen. But if you think you can squeeze your schedule to cook for her or help her in the kitchen, then why not?
In fact, a study conducted by relationship expert Dr. John Gray found that 70 percent of married couples who enjoy cooking together are more satisfied in all aspects of their marriage than those who don’t cook together.
Are you and your spouse cooking often? If not, then now is always the best time to start!
4.Say “I love you” and mean it.
Did you know? A 2013 research revealed that 39 percent of men are quick to say “I love you” and they actually utter these sweet words within the first few months of dating.
Oh well, the “honeymoon” phase of relationships are almost always filled with love and happiness. Saying “I love you,” hugs and kisses, flowers and chocolates—these are pretty much what you see in new couples every single day.
But the problems really start when the honeymoon phase fades off. “I love yous” are often not heard anymore. No more flowers and chocolates. And even hugs and kisses are forgotten.
And so, our fourth step to romancing your wife is to say “I love you” every day and mean it.
Remember, you vowed to love and hold your spouse until your dying breath. And with that vow comes your commitment to prove it.
However, as was mentioned by Dr. Cooper, couples who’ve been together for long years become too complacent. It may not be intentional, but they tend to neglect to say how much they love their partners.
You know this is not the way to go. And on that account, you must make it a habit to remind your wife of your love by saying those three words: “I love you.”
5.Surprise her with simple gifts.
It’s true that material things mean nothing compared to compromises in the name of love. But every now and then, husbands must surprise their wives with gifts, too!
These presents, however, need not be expensive and extravagant. They can be a small box of chocolate, a simple bouquet, or her favorite perfume.
You don’t really need to buy that Prada she has long been wanting to get if you don’t have the means. The only goal here is to make her feel loved with a simple act of gift giving.
This is because gift giving is found to play an important role in human interaction and in strengthening the bond between families and friends.
But please don’t forget that often, it is not the material value that matters most. Small gifts could mean a lot to a woman. After all, it’s the thought that counts!
6.Spend intimate time post-sex.
A survey conducted by a team of Toronto researchers found that couples who spend intimate time post-sex achieve a higher satisfaction in the sexual department and in their relationship as a whole. As it appears, cuddling after coitus makes room for deeper intimacy that allows for more physical attraction and connection.
Having said that, our last step to romancing your wife is to spend a little more time with her after sex.
Sex is tiring, especially with multiple orgasms. It’s no wonder why some people want to rush off to sleep after the deed.
But husbands need to know that a woman becomes happier and feels more appreciated when her husband stays up after sexual intercourse. Needless to say, lovemaking shouldn’t just end with one, two, or three orgasms. It must cap off with an after-play sexual bonding to nurture the love and closeness between couples.
For many years after the wedding, couples grow in age and find less time and energy for sex, communication, and activities together. It is in this moment when they start to feel unattached and most of the time, unloved.
However, this can be prevented if and only if spouses learn to keep the love alive, no holds barred. Thus, we want to stress the importance of romance in a long-term relationship.
In a few years’ time, you may not be able to travel like you used to, have fiery sex like the old times, and stay up late on dinner dates. But you can always write love letters. Or cook for your partner, buy small gifts, say you love him or her, and spend time for an intimate talk.
You can romance your spouse, anytime you want, anyway you please. This is the power of romancing and you have this power in your hands.