So it’s your first night with the love of your life and you’re admittedly on the verge of exhaustion after a long and tiring wedding ceremony. But hey, it’s the night that will mark your firsts!
How do you plan to spend your honeymoon when it’s your first night and you have no idea what to do? Add on the fact that you’re almost worn out from a day filled with wedding activities, and you may not be so confident that you can cut the mustard for the night.
Well, that’s where we come in. We have dedicated this article to help newly married couples out there in planning their first night together. We know this could be a hard nut to crack,so we’ve got our work cut out for us. Here are the dos and don’ts on how to do first honeymoon night.
Communication is the key to killing the heebie-jeebies on your wedding night. If you feel really nervous about what’s going to happen on your honeymoon, talk it out with your spouse. Chances are, he or she is feeling a little anxious about it too.
The challenge for newlywed couples, however, is the uneasiness that comes with the subject of sex. Some men and women who have not experienced sex are not comfortable discussing their sexual desires.
However, as a married couple, you must talk about sex and the subject of safe sex and pregnancy. Do you want to get pregnant right away? Or do you prefer to wait? These are important things to discuss.
But honestly, there’s no need to feel awkward over the matter of sex. You might be doing it almost every single night in the next few months to years. So, it’s best you start communicating about it on the first night of your marriage.
We know that you want to please your spouse on your first night as husband and wife. But hear us on this: you can’t make a memorable and romantic honeymoon without enough confidence.
Confidence is sexy. It enhances your beauty or masculinity, not just on the outside, but also on the inside.
Be confident with your body. Wear sexy lingerie as you please.
Be confident with yourself. Communicate your thoughts as necessary.
Be confident with your moves and actions. Sex takes practice, so don’t be too worried if your first time is not the best.
Remember, your spouse married you for many reasons and one of them is because he or she is going gaga about you. That should make you confident enough on your honeymoon, don’t you think?
Make a Move
This is especially for couples who haven’t had sex before the wedding. We know that you don’t have a satisfactory knowledge of what sex feels like and how to do it.
However, we bet you know what sex is all about. You see a lot of it on TV, don’t you? You might have read about it in magazines, too.
But if reading and watching still don’t give you the idea of sex, then you can set a schedule for premarital sex counseling.
Premarital sex counseling can help soon-to-be couples discuss their sexual expectations, needs, and limitations. According to sex expert Madeleine Castellanos, the sooner couples communicate their sexual expectations, the sooner they will find harmony in their sex life.
Even if you have no sexual experience, you just can’t lay on the bed and let your spouse give all the pleasure, right? You must unleash your inner goddess/god, concentrate on the moment, and let intimacy reign on your night.
Sex is a natural human desire. There’s actually no need to study it thoroughly.
Your body is your guiding machine. You might be surprised to be doing something you’ve never thought you could do!
Don’t Expect It to Be Perfect
As we mentioned above, sex takes some practice. You can’t expect to experience the best sex if it’s the first time you both are doing it.
In fact, a lot of hilarious things can happen on your first night.
For one, sex can be messy for virgins. The blood, the secretions—some people are grossed out by the sight of them for the first time.
And because you don’t know your partner’s pleasure points yet, you might push the wrong buttons and hurt him or her instead.
That’s nothing to fret, though. This is just fine. You might even experience a lot of similar things like these as you spend every day with your spouse.
Sex, according to Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Marissa Nelson, is a collective experience. That is why pleasure is more of a priority than the sexual performance of your partner.
Considering this, newlyweds should focus on how they connect and mutually enjoy their sexual activities rather than paying attention to whether their performance was good or not.
So keep your expectations at bay. It’s not about how well your first time having sex turns out. It’s about how much you enjoyed it and how connected you have become after doing it.
Don’t Cut Right to the Action
Foreplay: it’s a basic need to get both your moods into sex.
Foreplay is like the routines that keep us going every morning. Consider your early morning coffee that energizes your mind, or your daily walk to the office that warms up your body.
Mostly, it is the woman who needs foreplay. Not only is the process necessary to get her going, but it is important to have her aroused and lubed-up for a satisfying orgasm.
Nobody likes dry sex. Dry sex hurts and can also cause bleeding. And you don’t want that on your honeymoon, do you?
Trust us on this—once you get your partner excited through foreplay, you will be up for a different level of sexual experience. So if you are planning a fun and exciting honeymoon, don’t cut right to the action. Master the art of foreplay.
Don’t Act Like a Pro
If you are someone who has more sexual experience, you must never act like a pro on your honeymoon. Maybe you just want to “wow” your spouse. But acting like you’re an expert on sex might make your partner feel inferior. This may then lead to uncomfortable sex.
Although you are well experienced in sex, the bed you share with your spouse for the first time is not the best place to show your talents.
Most first-timers like slow, gentle, and romantic sex. This is what you need to offer your spouse if you truly want both of you to enjoy your first night.
And since you are already a master of the bed, maybe you can use your skills to guide your partner. This way, you can help ease his or her anxiety and awkwardness.
We understand that you want to take this chance to please your sex with great, fiery sex because you are confident you can give exactly that. But now is just not the perfect time.
Timing is everything, you know. For what it’s worth, you can still demonstrate your sexual skills to your spouse in the next nights as you please. After all, you both will be doing it forever.
First times are always the hardest, they say. But truly, there’s nothing to fret if we are talking about the honeymoon.
Your spouse loves you. That’s why he or she is there, spending the lovely night with you.
You really don’t have to prepare extravagantly for your first night together. Just be yourself, think less, and love more.
So forget about your apprehension and let things go smoothly. Dim those lights, turn a favorite romantic music on and feel the romance on your honeymoon.
Allow your body to slide you through intimacy. And most importantly, just enjoy the special night with the love of your life.
Mike Zhang. Founder of FamilyLifeShare