When we talk about a grace filled marriage, we are speaking about putting our spouse’s needs above our own. Having grace in the marriage means making decisions based on the overall effect on the marriage.
According to Mignon McLaughlin, a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. To make your husband or wife fall in love with you, effort must be put forth. You cannot just go on with your marriage and expect your partner to do everything for you. Make your spouse fall in love with you several times in your marriage by doing things right and guarding your love at every moment,everywhere you go.
Why pursue a grace filled marriage?
Marriage is a union of two people. Yes, you can say that it is a union because it becomes a legal relationship between a couple that is protected by law. You have your established rights and obligations as partners.
But marriage is more than that. Marriage transcends the legal responsibility of one person to the other. Marriage is doing everything you can to nurture your love, take care of it and maintain it.
Keep in mind that at first, it will be very difficult for you to put your spouse first in everything that you do. It is hard to do this because we generally live our whole lives prior to marriage being alone and looking out only for ourselves.
But now you are married. Picture it this way. You both had all the freedom in the world when you were single. Yet, you were willing to give up some of it. Why is that? It is because you want to be with your spouse more than keeping all of your freedom. It does not matter what you did when you were not married yet. What is more important to you is to be together for the rest of your life with the man or woman you love.
How can you do it?
Again, I will say it. It will be very difficult to do this at first. The struggle will be there. There will be times when you just want to give up and go back to your old self. When you arrive at the point of giving up on a grace filled marriage, you should keep faith that your relationship will be a lot better and mature when you pursue this type of marriage.
Here are tips on how to have a grace filled marriage:
Grace at Home
1.Do Your Household Chores
Sometimes, we rely on our spouse to do everything inside the house. This is especially true for those who work while their partner stays at home. To have a grace filled marriage, you should do your part in maintaining the house.
You should wash the dishes after you eat. You should do the laundry. The floor must be swept and mopped to maintain its cleanliness. You do not have to do this every day, but take it in your heart to do this regularly in your house.
When the wife says that you have something to fix inside the house, you should do it readily. You can do the plumbing if there are leaks in the pipes. You can patch up the roof if that needs to be repaired. If the garage requires some overhauling, you must make a plan and start your project immediately.
You also don’t have to depend on your spouse to tell you what to do. Being proactive can bring you to a grace filled marriage. You can inspect the house and do some sort of overall evaluation. Take note of the priorities and make a list of your things to do. You should also involve your spouse in the tasks that you will do at home.
Not all people cook—but all are capable of cooking. It is all about following the right steps and procedures. You can check out a lot of recipes online. You can also look at some videos for cooking. The sources are limitless. All you have to do is pick up the pan and start cooking.
Grace in the Bedroom
1.Not Forcing It
In a marriage, you can sometimes be tricked into thinking that you can get sex whenever you want. Yes, sexual intercourse can be done anytime and anywhere you want. But, even in marriage, sex should be consensual.
By pursuing a grace filled marriage, you are allowing your spouse to make a choice. Yes, you do have your personal sexual desires and needs. But having grace means not forcing your partner to do it. Let your spouse take his or her time. Be sensitive to what he or she is feeling at the moment.
Our personal desires can sometimes blind us into thinking only of ourselves, but you have to keep in mind that sexual intercourse is all about connection and being one with the other. If your spouse is undergoing some personal problems, you should put your sexual urges aside and find out your spouse’s issues and concerns.
Focus your attention on him or her, not on yourself. Do you know why sexual intercourse is also called making love? It is because love should abound in all aspects of marriage, even sex.
Grace at Work
1.Focusing on Your Spouse
It is hard enough to resist temptation when you are with your spouse. How much difficult would it be to fight it when you are alone?
Business trips or out-of-town meetings can require you to talk to the opposite sex. If you are not careful, though, temptations might slip into your normal business relationship and persuade you to do something that will ruin your relationship.
The best way to conquer temptation is to get away from it. The thing about temptation is that it is unrecognizable. At the start, it can be a harmless talk. Then, when you least expect it, you are inside a hotel room, alone with someone other than your spouse.
Maintain a grace filled marriage and protect yourself and your spouse even if you are not together. Put boundaries, alerts, warnings and caution tapes between you and the people of the opposite sex. Don’t let other people think that a romantic relationship with you is possible. Break possible chains that will link them to you. Always present to them that you are happily married and don’t have the slightest inclination to have an affair.
Grace When You Are With Your Friends
1.Tell Your Spouse the Time You Will Get Home—and Stick to It
You should keep the grace in your marriage even when you are with your friends. People in marriages still need some personal space with their friends, but you still need to involve your spouse during this time. When you are with your friends, you should tell your spouse the time that you are going home. You should also stick to your promised time to avoid confrontations and to build trust.
2.Tell Your Spouse Where You Are
For most couples, the only thing that they tell their spouses is that they are out with their friends. But you should have accountability in everything that you do. To protect yourself and your spouse, you should tell him or her where you are at the moment. If you are going to transfer to other houses or restaurants, you should volunteer that information to them.
Doing this can give them peace of mind, knowing that you are safe with your friends. It can also make you aware of whether the place that you are in right now can bring honor to your spouse or not. If you are concerned that a particular establishment may hurt your husband or wife in one way or another, it is better not to push through with the plan and have your friends bring you home.
The responsibility of the husband or wife as part of a grace filled marriage is putting his or her spouse first. The benefits of pursuing and maintaining it are very rewarding. Knowing that you have a spouse who loves you, cares for you, and would want to put you first above his or her own needs will help you to appreciate him or her more.
You are able to give more love because you, too, are loved. You are able to give more care because your relationship is nurtured and taken care of. Always think about your spouse in everything that you do so that you can have a marriage that is grace filled.