29 Funny Marriage Wishes in Crazy Cool Weddings

What’s a wedding without the hilarious, funny marriage wishes from the groomsmen and bridesmaids?

Our society is accustomed to serene and intimate weddings, where moms and dads shed tears of joy while other families and friends share heartfelt messages and bits of advice for the bride and groom. But don’t forget, this union of love is one joyous moment we should celebrate with happiness!

So it seems, it’s perfectly fine to add a little dose of laughter by saying a few funny marriage wishes to the newlyweds! Life’s too short to be serious all the time.

And besides, funny greetings can brighten up the mood of not just the bride and the groom, but also the guests! Here are some funny marriage wishes from crazy cool weddings that would surely leave you laughing out loud.

29 Funny Marriage Wishes

1.Hey buddy, now that you’re married, know that your laughter will be dead, and your rejoicing will be nullified. And there’s going to be just one voice at home – your wife’s. Cheers to an amazing married life!

2.My dear, I hope you know that marriage is like a no return, no exchange purchase. Like Apple’s terms and conditions, which you accept without actually reading them. Happy married life to you!

3.Marriage is like you have that one person you can annoy as much as you want for your whole life. You’re lucky to have met each other. Happy wedding day.

4.Brother, you do realize that what you got yourself into is like a give or take relationship, right? You either give or she will take it. Congrats to a life full of give or take for the both of you.

5.Dude, why do I feel like people in here today are cheerfully escorting you to your sufferings ahead? Of course, I’m kidding! Happy married life newlyweds!

6.Buddy, you know you are one lucky guy to have an opportunity to choose your prison. Not everyone’s given that luck. LOL! Happy wedding day to you.

7.My best friend, did you even think for a second that in marriage, you gain great responsibilities but no power? I admire you for choosing to marry despite that! Cheers to the happiest couple in the world!

8.Bro, it’s time to lay down all your weapons. You’re no longer the strict man, head of the department yelling “get back to work.” Now all you’ll say is “all hail the wife.” You may have been the king of good times, but she will be the Goddess of future times. I’m sending you my well wishes into this new journey of your life.

9.Speak up my brother, for this is the day that marks the beginning of your silent life ahead. Congratulations newlyweds!

10.Today, my friend, we are cheerfully sending you to a never ending war. May you be blessed with great strength and power to survive, not to fight. Happy wedding day.

11.I knew you two were madly in love with each other but didn’t think that you’d be mad enough to marry. Have a great life ahead, newlyweds! By the way, did you take happiness insurance before applying for marriage? You know it can’t be done later! Cheers to a happy marriage!

12.May God give you peace because I am sensing that a war is going to start. So be happy today because tomorrow’s story may be different! I’m just kidding!

13.My friend, now is not the time for fear as that should come later. So rejoice as much as you can, when you can, while you can. Happy wedding day!

14.Bro, I am honestly wishing you a happy marriage. By the way, did I mention you just made me analyze how much I am saving by not marrying? Happy wedding day to the newlyweds!

15.Run for your life, my friend, before it’s too late! You know you can still save yourself, so go run!

16.Welcome to the married life, dear. In this contract, you are not given the privilege to renew the policy annually. So once you’ve signed it, you must accept it’s lifelong. And oh, you can’t run now as you are already caught when you said “I do.” Good luck in your married life ahead.

17.To the newlyweds, say hello to the world of sarcasm and rhetorical questions. In life, we see a doctor when we have pain. But when you need to see the end, you marry. I’m joking, of course! Happy wedding day.

18.Bro, I have to tell you that you are truly lucky to have met your bride. And now, she will embark on a journey about mending your ways in the best possible manner. That couldn’t be more exciting. May you have a happy and peaceful married life ahead.

19.My friend, in this married life, you have to prepare to lose all your power. The only power you can retain is the power of listening and saying yes. She nags, you listen. You also start saying yes and complain less than often. It will soon become a daily habit. LOL! But seriously, I’m wishing both of you a happy married life.

20.When the priest asked you earlier to say “I do,” I though he would have said, “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say would be considered against you. You have no lawyers and no bail plea requests.” Good luck in your married life brother!

21.My dear friend, I knew you were a war hero. But now that you’re married, know that no matter what you do, you have to settle for peace. Congratulations for finally tying the knot on your neck!

22.Deciding to leave a happy and free life without any lifetime commitment is just the first sacrifice of a person getting married. Prepare yourself for more that will come. Married life is full of failed expectations. You are so excited to make your partner happy and loved always.Then you will find out that you do nothing but annoy each other instead. Happy wedding day!

23.A woman makes a man complete so after the wedding, he is finished. But I want to congratulate you for this day. No amount of wishes or luck will protect you from the painful life of slavery you are about to start as a husband. Know that marriage marks the end of a love story and the start of a wrestling match. But of course, you know I am kidding! Wishing you the very best of your married life!

24.I knew you two were madly in love with each other but I never thought for a second that you’ll be mad enough to marry. Just so you know, my married friend told me that it will all start with the two of you being madly in love and end with you being mad at each other. Marriage is hot during the first months then soon, you’ll become hot-headed with your spouse every time. Please prove me these stories ain’t real. Have a great married life ahead!

25.You dreamed of nothing but all the beautiful things for your entire lifetime together. But don’t be surprised if soon, you will dream of parting ways and living happily on your own. I warned you. LOL. Happy wedding day.

26.You know guys, it is nice to see that you both are so excited and wearing those sweet smiles on your shining faces while signing that marriage contract. But don’t be too sure, you might not be able to wear the same smiles and excitement when you sign your annulment papers. I’m kidding! You are both lucky to have found each other. Cheers to a happy married life ahead!

27.As you wed today, my friend, here’s my only piece of advice – stay married! The best is yet to come! Happy wedding day.

28.Do you know the secret of a happy marriage? Well, nobody here knows as it remains a secret! So let me wish you all the best for the times ahead!

29.They say marriage is all about give and take – the more your give, the more she’ll take. It is also about communication and compromise. She’ll be doing the communication and you’ll be doing the compromise. Happy married life!


Just because your marriage wishes for your friend or family’s wedding brought everyone in bursts of laughter’s doesn’t mean you’re not taking their wedding seriously. So if you’re someone who has a way with humour, then go ahead, tell the newly weds what you want to say in the funniest way you can!