How to Deal with an Emotionally Distant Wife

Most women, according to this article from PsychCentral, are not even aware that they are becoming emotionally distant.

Understand her, talk to her and be with her throughout the whole process of renewal. A husband and wife should sort everything out to fix their marriage.

How to Deal With an Emotionally Distant Wife?

Accept Your Current Situation.

The sooner you accept the fact that your wife is becoming detached from your relationship, the better. Being emotionally distant is no laughing matter. Some marriages with emotionally unavailable spouses can lead to dysfunction and sometimes, divorce. If you recognize that you have a problem in your marriage, you can improve the chances of fixing it up.

Be honest with yourself and say that your relationship has some issues. It may be because of your wife or it may be because of you. No matter the main cause of your circumstance, you should exert your best effort to try to restore the love and the connection in your marriage.

Accept The Way that She Is.

Being emotionally detached can be chronic or temporary. Chronic detachment happens because of trauma or childhood events. Temporary emotional detachment occurs because of specific situations.

If she has not mentioned anything before, she may be afraid of being judged or scaring you away. But she is your wife now. And you love her. You just need to accept her whole being as a person.

If you force rules of things that she has to do in your marriage, she will only become more distant from you. You have to be gentle with her. Her emotions are already enclosed within her. Imposing stuff on her will only make things worse.

Understand Her Emotions.

Once you have accepted your situation and the personality of your wife, then you can talk to her. You should be calm when you start communicating with her. But do not forget to infuse your heart when you sit her down and talk to her.

How will you do this? Ask her what is wrong. First, understand her feelings and her emotions. Dive into her mind. As much as possible, see where she is at and how she views your marriage.

Does she feel like everything is still okay? Does she recognize the things that you notice in your relationship? Ask her selected questions to know more about what she is going through. But be sure not to pick the questions that will make her put guards in front of her or be on the defensive.

Share with Her Your Own Emotions.

Now that you know where she stands, you can better position the words that you will say to her. You may feel that you are the aggrieved person in the relationship, but for a couple to work things out, one still has to stand up and be rational about it.

Tell her what you see in your marriage. Reiterate that you are not here to criticize her, but you want to be connected with her. And the only way to do this is to open up to her. And she should also be more vocal about her feelings for you.

Make Her Feel Protected.

You wife had built a wall around her and kept her emotions all to herself. You cannot go in unless she feels secure with you. When you start talking to her, you should assure her that everything will be alright. Give her the protection that she desperately needs.

One way to do this is by sharing your own weaknesses with her. Tell her your faults and flaws and how to plan to handle them. If you are vulnerable with her, she will feel safer with you and she can be more open.

Do the Stuff that Makes Her Happy.

If she still feels distant, then you can go to a favorite restaurant or a well-loved travel destination. You can also eat the cuisine that she prefers or get her a dog. Why should you do this? If she is emotionally happy, then she can be more connected to you.

As she opens herself up to happiness again, she will feel more open to sharing her emotions with you. And it will be easier to ask her more questions if she is in a situation where you are cheering her up.

Give More Time to Her.

Time can be the main cause of her emotional detachment in your relationship. If she has been far from you emotionally, it’s probably because you did not notice the first instance in which this was happening.

Whether she admits it or not, you should give more time to her. Do not let allow more distance between you to develop and grow. You can take more time off from work and do activities with your wife.

You can pick healthy habits that you can do together. Jogging or walking is a nice choice because you can talk while you exercise. You can also go to the gym. Spend more time dining with your wife so that you converse and talk more about how your day was regularly.

Go to Relationship Experts.

You can get assistance from experts who have experience in dealing with emotional detachment. You must also ask help from marriage counselors who can provide the needed knowledge in fixing your relationship.

She may be hesitant at first, especially if she is not used to talking to psychologists or therapists. But if she feels that you sincerely want to help her, then she will eventually give in and go with you to seek professional help.

Ask Help from Medical Experts.

If you feel that you have not done anything bad which have caused her to be emotionally distant, then her condition may be internal. Does she feel sick? Her emotional detachment can be because of sickness or illness. She may be hiding something in her health which may have caused her to retract her emotions.

You can ask her directly if she feels ill. If she still hides it, then you can just be more observant to her actions. You can also look at her if she looks different.

What is Emotional Detachment in a Marriage?

In a marriage, emotional detachment happens when one spouse becomes withdrawn and emotionally unavailable to the other. This detachment is a gradual process, with one partner slowly pulling away and stopping their emotional investment in the relationship.

Emotional detachment harms a marriage greatly.

Signs of Emotional Detachment in a Marriage

Lack of Communication

Conversations become superficial and lack depth
Your spouse avoids certain topics of conversation
When you try to discuss issues, you feel like you’re talking “at” them, not “with” them
Texting and calls decrease over time

Loss of Interest

Your spouse seems bored and disinterested when you talk
They stop engaging in joint activities or hobbies you used to share
Date nights and quality time together decreases

Withholding Affection

Less physical affection like hugs, kisses, hand-holding
They no longer say “I love you”
Your spouse pulls away or tenses up when you initiate physical touch

Secretive Behavior

Increased privacy with phone, computer, social media
They shut down conversations when asked about certain things
You notice your spouse telling more “white lies”

Indifference to Conflicts

Your spouse becomes dismissive of disagreements
They seem unaffected by issues in the relationship
Conflicts are avoided or brushed off rather than addressed

No Longer Sharing Problems

Your spouse stops confiding in you about worries
When you ask how they are, the response is always “fine”
They deny or downplay anything being wrong

Lack of Support

Your spouse doesn’t offer emotional support when you need it
They seem uninterested when you share excitements/disappointments
Congratulations or words of affirmation decrease

Feelings of Loneliness

You feel alone even when your spouse is present
An emotional gulf develops that separates you from your spouse
Your attempts to connect are rejected or ignored

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About the Author-Mike Zhang

Mike is the Founder of Familylifeshare. Mike is well-knowledged in marriage, parenting, dogs, blogging and committed to sharing his knowledge and expertise with his readers. Know more about Mike from here.