When you have a dominating wife, it is easy to just be rebellious in the relationship to disrespect her. But you also know that this is not healthy and right for your marriage. Instead of being angry with her, you can just find ways to dominate her and turn things around.
Taking the authority and responsibility for your marriage is better for your relationship in the long run. The fact that you see your wife as a dominating woman reveals that you are not satisfied with your own disposition.
How do you define a dominating wife?
Being dominating is quite synonymous with another characteristic: being controlling. When you feel restricted in your marriage or are being asked for more than you are capable of, you may have a dominating woman on your hands.
A dominating wife may or may not be aware of the things that she is doing to you. She may be in denial of the situation. Or worse, she could return this accusation and say that you are the one who is controlling and dominating the relationship.
Is a dominating wife not good for you?
Some husbands choose to be passive because they trust the marital judgment of their spouses. In a study conducted by researchers from Iowa State University, it was observed that the majority of the women dominate their marriages instead of the husband.
As long as you can live your life liberally without being heavily criticized or forced to do something that you do not want to do, most men can be in a relationship with a controlling wife. But the moment your freedom has been challenged and the boundaries you have set have been breached, you will start seeing a wife who is dominating and controlling.
How to Deal With Her
Just to be clear, when we say, “dominate her,” we are not referring to completely and utterly removing all autonomy from your wife. You should actually be supporting her with her needs, maximizing her strengths, complimenting her weaknesses with your strengths, and loving her wholeheartedly.
8 Tips on How to Deal With a Dominant Woman
1.Talk to her about it.
The first thing that you should do is open this issue with her. Communicate your thoughts and your emotions to her. Nothing is greater than being vulnerable to your spouse. Manhood is not about pride and “looking cool.” Manhood is about manning up, backing your words with your actions, and revealing your emotions when needed.
You just need to be careful with your words. You do not want resistance when you start talking about her dominating behavior. You can start by saying, “I love you and I care for our relationship so much that I need to tell you this.”
It is better to be specific with the actions that she does that make you feel dominated. You have to constantly reiterate that your goal is not to hurt her. You only want to restore your relationship and fix any misunderstandings between the two of you.
2.Know the reason why she is dominating you.
In an article published in Owlcation.com, it is stated that some psychologists see human behavior as determined either by personality or by circumstance. Whichever causes or dictates human behavior, it can be assumed that the a person’s experiences can cause her present behaviors.
The dominating demeanor of your wife can be caused by the experiences of her youth. She may have had a dominating mother that she wants to imitate consciously or unconsciously. It may also be caused by a hurtful experience in the past.
Once you understand where the control and domination come from, you can better choose the next steps in the restoration of your bond and connection.
3.Are you willingly submitting yourself to your wife?
At the start of marriage, we often trust each other so much that we forget to know our personal roles. Some husbands may choose to give some of their responsibilities to their wives, like making decisions for the family, disciplining the kids, and managing the household.
Then, after years through the marriage, you suddenly feel the seriousness and gravity of the responsibilities. You choose to take these roles you back from your wife. The struggle will then begin. And you will feel like you are being dominated.
If you have let yourself be dominated from the beginning up to now, it would be more difficult to break your wife’s habit. But it can still be solved.
Your wife will find it odd at first when you want to take on the important roles of the house. You just have to explain the true reasons why you decided to do it. It would be difficult to give up the responsibility at first because she has had it for years. But she will soon respect your decision to step up and give you the accountability and work for the family.
4.Break the routine.
In order to slowly stop her dominating streak, you can find ways to break the routine. Her control over you may be about work, career, time, interests, hobbies, friends, behaviors or personality.
If it is career- or work-related, you must set appropriate time for her. Prioritize her and put her at the top of your list. Show her how important she is to you. Give her the attention and the joy that she is asking from you.
If she is controlling you over your time with your friends or hobbies, you can stop or even drop what you are currently doing and focus on her interests instead. It may be arts, crafts, or any other hobby. You have to be involved with her likes. Exert all efforts to know her more through her leisure pursuits.
5.Ask for help from professionals.
If you can’t figure out what to do with your issues, it is best to seek professional help. Asking assistance from experts regarding your marital problems will give you unbiased third-party advice.
Therapists and marriage counselors have numerous trainings and experiences in dealing with marital issues. A dominating spouse is a concern that couples commonly undergo. For some people, pouring their emotions out to a stranger is easier than telling a friend or a family member. This is to avoid prejudice or prejudgment.
6.Be more responsible.
If you want to truly dominate your partner, you should keep in mind that you are not only going to do this for the next few weeks or months. Dominating the marriage is a lifetime decision that you will make.
To dominate a marriage means doing what you say and saying what you do. You should take responsibility for every aspect of the marriage. When it comes to making decisions, you are not only looking out for yourself but also for your wife and the kids.
Being responsible and being the dominating spouse will be a lifestyle that you will take on. Remember to think of the welfare of your family and the people that will be affected by any decision that you make.
You should not disrespect her even if she is taking control of your life. Your wife is someone who deserves to be loved and cared for despite her failures and imperfections.
Think of it this way. You are imperfect as well. You have made a lot of mistakes throughout your marriage. Has she stopped loving you? Is she not caring for you anymore?
Your wife, though dominating, still gives you her full attention. And she still provides you a particular kind of respect. You should show your own brand of affection for her by reciprocating the same respect.
8.Raise recurring patterns of behavior.
If she agrees to fix this problem with you, then you have to set rules to solve the issue. When you are having discussions or arguments and she starts dominating you again, you have to mention it at the first instance.
You do this not to avoid the argument, but to stop her dominating behaviors. Remind her about her promise to help you mend her issues. And do not forget to affirm her and commend her every time so that she will feel loved and cared for.
It is all about taking your time and having the right amount of patience in order to deal with a dominating wife. You should not aim to change your spouse. Instead, your goal is to make the best adjustments, talk about the compromises that you will make, and change a specific type of mindset that you currently have.
When you start changing yourself and being a better husband to your spouse, you will eventually see the changes that you want for your wife.