When people hear the term “stepmom,” it is quickly associated with phrases such as “wicked witch” or “evil queen.” Many kids see stepmothers as villains lurking in their homes. Well, we can’t blame them, as children’s favorite Disney movies have portrayed the image so well.
Disney introduced us to Cinderella’s evil, distant stepmom who gave our blonde princess nothing but unfair treatment. Then, there’s Snow White’s wicked and vindictive stepmom who wanted our sweet royalty dead out of obsession with being “the fairest in the land.” See? An evil-doing woman is always present in fairy tales or children stories! And a stepmother being the bad guy or the main antagonist is nothing new.
In reality, however, stepmoms aren’t always sinister and crones. The truth is actually the opposite. Many stepmothers are wonderful and affectionate. Like other mothers, they are kind and lovely as well.
But most children meeting their second moms for the first time do not welcome the idea. That’s normal and fine, though. A good woman embracing the role of a stepmom understands that there will be a period of adjustment and she knows things will get better.
In fact, many stepmothers who have weathered the storm come out happier and more fulfilled. They even have a lot of good things to say about their step-motherhood.
The 6 Best Things About Being a Stepmom
1. You can be over-appreciated.
Stepmothers are generally not expected to act as a “good mom.” It won’t surprise the kids if you turn into a selfish, hateful lady after marrying their dad. That’s why you, being a kind stepmom, can receive much more credit than you ever anticipated.
In your head, everything you do for the children is considered normal, regular stuff. But in their eyes, you can be exceptional. You are over-appreciated for the littlest kindness you show them, especially if their father’s former girlfriend before you was an evil one.
If you love and care for the kids genuinely, those who have not felt the love from their daddy’s past girlfriends will find you so sweet and caring. They will love you even more and appreciate your presence in their lives.
But the truth is, nothing you do is so extraordinary. You just give them the kind of love you think they need. Yet in their minds, you are doing something extra for them.
This is one of the best things about being a stepmom. Nobody assumes that you will treat the children in a way similar to how a mother loves her biological kids. So when you do, people around you will applaud your kind heart even for the littlest acts of love and kindness you show.
2. You become their friend and the “cooler” parent.
Because you are basically not the children’s parent, you become a safe place for them to open up about anything they cannot tell their father or mother. They see you not just as a second mom, but as a friend, which is actually good for your budding relationship.
If your stepchildren recognize you as somebody who can listen to their worries, you become an important person in their lives. Confiding their problems in you strengthens your bond, and soon, you will feel so connected to each other like a real family.
Additionally, stepmothers normally become the “cooler parent’ in the children’s eyes. Daddy would be so firm with house rules, and because you don’t make house rules, kids won’t see you as a barrier to their wants. You have the power to step back and give all the disciplining responsibilities to the real parents. You can even spoil them with lots of treats and goodies, which could award you the “coolest stepmom” trophy.
3.You become an “instant parent.”
Let’s face the facts – carrying an unborn child in your womb for nine straight months is hard. We won’t argue with the idea that pregnancy is the most beautiful thing for a mother, but we have to add that it’s tough. Not to mention, it gives you saggy boobs and stretch marks.
While most mothers across the world can attest that pregnancy is one the best things to happen to their womanhood, we cannot discount the difficulties that come with it. The muscle aches, body changes, mood swings, eating difficulties, and increasing weight of your belly becomes hard to carry as you reach the third trimester. That is why for stepmoms, it seems to be a pretty bonus to have children without having to go through the birthing process.
As a stepmother, you become an “instant parent.” You get to be a mother minus the complications and struggles of pregnancy. You can keep your sexy body as you enjoy being a mom.
Moreover, many stepmoms walk into the scene when children have already grown up. This means you won’t have to wake up late at night to feed infants and change diapers. You saved yourself from losing enough sleep and running back and forth to catch a toddler in the morning.
4. You get to experience being a mother even before you become one to your biological child.
Stepmoms sometimes win the luxury of experiencing motherhood even before they become a biological mom. It’s one of the pros of being a stepmother. You take the role of a mother even when you’re actually not. So, you get to learn the ins and outs of motherhood, preparing you for the real battle when it arrives.
There is no guidebook on how to be a good mother, but most women dream of being one. We can only learn the best from experience. So, co-parenting with your husband opens an opportunity for you to have a wider grasp of motherhood. You have the time to practice and improve your mothering skills.
No mother is born ready to be a mom, but you, as a stepmother, are one step ahead of the game. You have a firsthand experience of motherhood even before you carry your first biological child. And you can actually use your experience to become a better version of the mother you currently are.
And the best part is that there’s not much pressure in your step-motherhood compared to mothering your firstborn. As we mentioned above, you can step back and put the responsibilities of disciplining your stepkids on their father. However, it can’t be the same when it comes to your biological child.
5. You have the opportunity to heal a family.
There are situations when all that a family needs is an outsider to help lead them into healing. As a stepmother, you have the opportunity to unify a broken family.
When parents divorce, children endure the sufferings and burdens of living without mom or dad. They become broken and the once-happy home becomes clouded with all sorts of drama. And sometimes, it takes a stepparent to break the pattern.
Children who’ve experienced the mayhem of their parents’ messy divorce tend to lose hope for a happy family. But a good stepmother can change that outlook. She can cut the chain of drama by nurturing the kids with love and affection that they might have been missing for years.
She can show the children a new light of hope. She has the opportunity to fill the home with a different sense of happiness and joy. She’s a breath of fresh air that the family needs to save themselves from drowning in loneliness and sadness.
6. You grow as a person and learn more about yourself.
The best thing about being a stepmom is the time and experience that it gives you to grow as a person while learning more about yourself.
Step-motherhood is a challenging job, and whenever we are faced with challenges, we can either back off or weather the storm and grow. Therefore, if you fully accept step-motherhood, it gives you the chance to learn and grow as a person.
You might even be surprised by the things that you can do for family. You won’t realize how much love you can give to children unless you become a mother to them. And your stepkids lead you to this realization.
Once you have taken the role of a stepmother, you are also reaching toward maturity. It takes a mature person to be a good mother, and you become exactly that when you embrace your step-motherhood.
In addition, you’ll discover a lot of things about yourself that you don’t even know exist. You’ll learn that you can put the needs of others before yourself without having doubts. You can compromise with no hesitation. And it’s all because you became a mother to your husband’s children.
Perhaps in this post, we have already established the fact that being a stepmother has its perks. It’s not all about drama, pressure, stress and forced fun.
Hence, if you are a stepmom and everything’s too challenging right now, do not be discouraged. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel and you’ll soon get there.
Keep in mind that step-motherhood is also motherhood. It comes with the pros and cons of being a mom, but it is, indeed, a rewarding role as a whole. Consider it a training and give it your best shot so that when you come out of it, you’ll be armed with everything you need to be a good mother to your future children.